He Got Deja Vu

Twenty-three

Having a relationship in almost three years felt surreal.

Hindi ko pa ito nararanasan. Lahat ng care, love, and affection... lahat ng 'yon binigay sa 'kin ni Jagger. Sa kanya ko naramdaman na nag-e-exist talaga ako.

Lahat ng pinaparamdam niya sa 'kin ay parang bago.

Alam ko na malayo pa kami katulad sa ibang mga couples, but I don't want to compare, kami 'to, eh.

But somehow, I felt guilty for suspecting him that dawn.

I just thought that something's off about him.

It was my first time seeing him awake that time.

Or maybe I was just paranoid? Or scared? I trust him... but I don't know... Maybe I was just selfish.

I suspected him for doing nothing bad. Kausap lang pala niya si Tita Thalia, at wala namang masama roon.

Baka talagang nami-miss lang din ni Tita Thalia si Jagger.

Nagsasapatos si Jagger malapit sa may pinto dahil papasok na siya sa work niya. "Jagger," I called him. "What if doon ka muna sa inyo?" suhestiyon ko habang pinagmamasdan siya rito sa sofa.

Natigil siya at napaangat ng tingin sa 'kin. "Huh? Why?" he asked, confused.

I tilted my head. "Uh, maybe Jahneia and Tita Thalia missed you... that he even texted you early in the morning," I explained.

He sighed and finished knotting his shoelace before sitting beside me. Inayos niya ang buhok ko. "Are you okay with it?" he asked.

Bahagya akong nagulat. "Oo naman!" mabilis na sagot ko. "For sure, you missed them too. Hindi ka na masyado nakakadalaw," sagot ko sa kanya.

He leaned his head and give me a small kiss. "What about a dinner with them later?" he asked, smiling.

At first, I hesitated, knowing that Tita Thalia are still against us.

Pumayag na lang din ako para sa kanya dahil alam kong matagal na rin siyang 'di nakakadalaw sa kanila.

Hinatid niya muna ako sa school bago siya pumasok ng work. Most of the time, hinahatid pa rin niya ako kahit na may sarili naman akong kotse. Gusto lang daw talaga niyang makasama ako bago magtrabaho.

I unconsciously smiled. "Uy, si Ma'am! Napapangiti mag-isa!" Pang-aasar ng ilang mga studyante ko.

Nakaupo ako sa desk ay may pinapagawang activity sa kanila. I didn't expect them to notice me, smiling! Geez.

Tumawa na lang ako bilang tugon. "Sige na, magsagot na kayo, nak," paalala ko nang hindi pa niya inalis ang tingins akin. Nang-aasar pa, eh.

Mga kabataan talaga.

Habang nagtse-check naman ako ng pinagawa kong activity sa kanila ay may biglang nagtaas ng kamay.

"Yes, nak?" nagtatakang tanong ko.

She stood up, grinning. "Ma'am, kayo pa rin po ba ng boyfriend mo?" kinikilig niyang tanong.

I faked a cough and I can feel that my cheeks are burning! It was a sudden question!

"Ma'am Erica, kwento mo naman paano kayo nagkakilala!" sabi naman ng isa.

Sumang-ayon pa ang iba at mas kinulit ako. "Class, this is not related to our topic," I said in a serious manner.

"Mag-sana all na lang tayo, guys!"

Nagsihiyawan na ang lahat. "Novena reveal naman, Ma'am." Doom ako napatawa.

I jokingly flipped my hair to them.

Sinaway ko rin sila agad  dahil baka magreklamo pa ang katabi naming room dahil sa ingay at katukin kami.

Pumunta ako sa harapan nila at bahagyang umupo sa dulo ng desk.

"You know, class... merong taong darating at darating para sa inyo," panimula ko.

"You don't have to rush things lalo na't mga bata pa naman kayo. And you don't have to be envious on someone's relationship... darating din kayo roon, hindi lang nga ngayon," I added.

Isa-isa ko silang tinignan. "Nakakapagod maghintay, oo, pero it will be all worth it."

Tahimik lang silang nakikinig kaya napangiti ako. Ang iba naman ay tumatango-tango pa.

"Being in love is not bad... Kaya lang, kapag masyado nating minadali, mas magiging complicated," pagpapatuloy ko sa sinasabi.

Someone raised his hand. "Ma'am, bakit po 'yung iba kahit matagal na sila nagb-break pa rin po?"

Most of them agreed to him. "Oo nga, Ma'am Erica. After two weeks meron na agad bago." Bahagya pa siyang natawa.

"Tapos mapapakanta ka na lang ng, you betrayed me, and I know that you'll never feel sorry..." pagkanta niya.

Tumayo naman ang isa at kumanta rin. "Tapos same lifestyle rin ang ginagawa nila. Do you get deja vu when she's with you?" she said before sitting again.

"Tapos blonde girl ang pinalit. Awit," someone said.

Nagkakaingayan na sila pero 'di ko sila magawang pagalitan.

Parang sandaling tumigil ang mundo ko.

I tried to open my mouth but nothing came out.

Andami ko tuloy biglang negative thoughts. My body shivered, imagining Jagger looking on someone with the same eyes he gave me.

I inhaled deeply and stood up straight. I slightly tapped my desk to caught their attention. "Quiet, class. Malapit na mag-time," paalala ko.

I unplugged my laptop and fixed my things.

"Goodbye, Ma'am Erica, peace and all good."

Lumabas na ako ng room at papunta na sa next class ko. While walking, fear crept on my mind.

No. No. It won't happen to us.

09/13/21