meet me at our spot | n.r x oc | ✓

*6 - natasha's letter to yelena

[Small mentions of PTSD]

August 14, 2018

Hey, Yelena.

It's been a little over three weeks since Thanos snapped away 50% of all living creatures. Since Thanos snapped away you. We found him when he used the stones again, and we went to space to kill him. Unfortunately, the stones were gone by the time we got to him. We did kill him, though, so at least we have that satisfaction. We don't know how to get the stones back, though.

By the way, I've gotta take you with me to space one day-- I think you'd love it.

The Avengers, what's left of them, we're all working our very hardest to try to get the world back up and running. It's easier said than done, but the pain is still very fresh. I keep thinking back to that day, what things I could have done differently. What we all could have done differently.

The streets of Manhattan have never been more quiet. Almost everything is deserted, and I'm starting to think that every single person in New York was wiped away.

Stefaniya has been working from New York to track down the Widows that relocated before Thanos. She hasn't had any luck yet. Speaking of, the Widows left at the facility are doing okay. I check in with them once every week over the phone, and they're holding down the fort until we find a way to get you, Melina, and Alexei back. Most of the Widows have moved out, though.

A couple days ago, Tony came back from space. He's not doing okay, but we're hoping that he'll get better physically as the days go by. As for his mental health... Well, who even is mentally stable these days?

We have some new members of the team, by the way. Carol Danvers-- she glows and she can fly and lift an entire spaceship with one arm. I think you would like her. We also have Rocket, who's a raccoon that talks. And Nebula, who happens to be Thanos's adopted daughter. But she's been helping us out, so I think we can trust her. A little bit.

I'm doing as okay as you can expect. Some days are harder than others, but I'm holding myself strong for the sake of the others. Someone needs to keep us up and running.

Stefaniya... She's really struggling. I think she has PTSD from the fight against Red Room. And when I let her fight with us in Wakanda, it triggered an episode. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have called her for help; she was perfectly safe working with you. She hasn't had another episode since then, but she's having very vivid nightmares. Almost every night, I wake up to hear her screaming in her room. She's isolating herself from me and the Avengers, and as much as I'm tempted to override the lock on her door and go in and hug her, I want to respect her boundaries. Even if it pains me.

When she's not in her room, she's in the gym. She's taken up ballet again, which I've done, too. That's just about the only time she lets me be in the same room as her, and we dance side by side in silence. I think that she finds somewhat of a peace in it-- reliving the controlled environment of the Red Room. I'm far more out of practice than she is, but it's nice being able to see her when we cross paths in the gym. Anywhere else, though, it seems like all she does is try to pick a fight with me. Whether it's over me walking too loud, or I'm bothering her, distracting her... It hurts. I'm used to this stuff from the Avengers, anyone else, really. But it hurts so much more from her because I think I'm in love with her.

    Sorry. I'm not trying to dump all of our problems on you. I just really need to let it out somewhere.

I really miss you, so does Stefaniya. She really needs you right now. I'll bring you back, I promise.

Till we meet again.

Your sister,
Natasha R.