Full Moon | Dolunay (pt.1)

33. His Pain

*NAZLI*

When I went in the restaurant, I found Fatosh waiting for me. "Ah, Nazli finally!" She pulled me in a bear hug and I reciprocated. This was exactly what I needed now.

"Were you waiting for a long time?" I asked her, "Not exactly but I didn't call you because I thought you were in court. How was it by the way?" She asked me nervously.

"Hakan and Demet took Bulut" I sighed. "The poor boy... I feel so sorry for him" "Yeah" I replied. "But I'm glad that it is just temporary custody. The permanent one is after a few weeks" "You'll get him then, don't worry" Fatosh reassured me and I gave her a sad smile.

"Did Ferit drop you here? I didn't see him" She told me, "Deniz dropped me here" "Wait what?" Fatosh raised an eyebrow. "After leaving Bulut at Hakan's place, Ferit left me at the bus stop" I sighed.

"What?" Her eyes widened, "Yeah... Deniz came by a little later and offered to bring me here" "But if Ferit knows about that...?" She was worried. "What is the worst that he's gong to do? Distance himself again... It's nothing new anyway" I grumbled.

"He's been treating you that bad?" She frowned, "That man is a maniac Fatosh. Last night he said he loved me and-" "Oh my god!" She jumped up from the chair in her excitement. "He loves you! What more do you want?! Did you tell him you feel the same too?" She wiggled her eyebrows expectantly.

"I told him I'm still angry" I mumbled, "You're crazy" Fatosh chuckled, "You're crazy about him" "How can I even tell him that? One day he gets really close and the next he ruins it. He's so unpredictable... I'm tired of this" I mumbled.

"But where is he right now? Didn't he tell you?" "He said he wants to clear his head" I replied, "Which means he's probably going to get drunk and show up at the front door around midnight" I sighed.

"You should soften up to him girl... He at least confessed his feelings" and made me experience the hottest night of my life. The thought sent shivers down my spine.

"But he is still lost somewhere... He says he loves me but he doesn't trust me" I replied. "How can you be so sure?" "He hasn't told me about his parents yet... I'm one hundred percent sure that the reason Ferit ended up like this is because of something that happened in his family... The funny thing is that even my father was involved in it" I replied.

"Maybe he'll tell you tonight? I mean, people start talking a lot more once they confess to each other" She stated matter-of-factly. "But I never confessed" "You need to tell him girl!" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't know what I feel. Sometimes I want to slap him and others I want to kiss him" I retorted and Fatosh chuckled, "And you called him a maniac" I narrowed my eyes on her.

***

I was exhausted when I got home, my stomach and head were aching. All I wanted to do was go to bed as soon as possible.

To my surprise I found Ferit on the couch outside, drinking as expected. "You cleared your head?" I crossed my arms and asked him derisively. He didn't respond but poured another glass of beer and pushed it towards me, "Can you sit down?" His tone reflected pain.

The last time I saw my husband this worn out was during the accident. His sleeves were rolled up and he barely tucked in his shirt. His hair was a silky mess and his eyes looked heavy and tired. I sat down next to him feeling guilty.

"Are you... Okay?" I scooted a bit more closer to him, "You think?" He ignored my gaze and took another swig of his beer. "Don't do this to yourself..." I mumbled and slowly took away the bottle from his hands. He sighed and leaned back on the couch, staring at the cloudy sky.

"I didn't mean to leave you like that there... I'm sorry..." He mumbled and placed his hand on mine. "I was worried about you" I replied, "...And the things I said in the car... I was just angry" He turned to me then and smiled sadly, "The more you love someone, the more you end up hurting them" He replied.

"Where were you though?" I wanted to change this subject. "I went to Zeynep's grave..." He mumbled, "I felt like I had to apologize" "You didn't do anything wrong" My hand caressed his stubble. "We'll get Bulut next time. I know we will" I tried smiling. Seeing him like this broke my heart.

He stared at me for a minute before shuffling through his pocket. Ferit took out something wrapped in red silk and my heart raced when he revealed it, a diamond necklace. He leaned closer to me and tried putting it on.

His breath fanned my face and his touch gave me chills again, "I met one of my friends from college by chance today... He owns a jewelry shop. I knew you would look beautiful in this" He whispered and his nose brushed past mine when he pulled back. "I wasn't wrong" He smiled slightly, his gaze fixed on my eyes.

He took my hand and kissed it, "I couldn't have found a better woman to fall in love with" He whispered before pressing a kiss to my forehead and pulling me towards his chest. I hugged him back tightly and held back my tears. The simple gestures that he did meant a lot to me.

Being in his arms was the safest feeling indeed, and I just hoped that Ferit would surrender his insecurities just like Fatosh said. Right now, all I wanted was my husband's warmth.

A/N- 11 years of 1D. Missing them together smh.