Full Moon | Dolunay (pt.1)

29. Warmth

*NAZLI*

"Be a good boy" I smiled at Bulut, "Okay" He nodded and kissed my cheek as I got out of the car. "Have a good day Mrs.Nazli" Tarik smiled at me, "You too. Bye" I watched as they drove down the road. Mrs.Leman had insisted on spending the day with Bulut so Tarik took him there. I would miss the little monster.

It had been two weeks since the funeral and Ferit has turned into a stranger again. 

I sighed and went inside my restaurant. The day was tough as usual and I took a cab to return home in the evening.

I blinked away my tears and walked into the living room to find Ferit tampering with the gramophone. He stared at me in surprise. "What are you doing?" I asked and noticed the bottle of whiskey on the table.

"Work ended early" He replied and a soft music played from the instrument. "You could've gone to some club... Why did you come home?" I grumbled under my breath and walked past him to return upstairs.

He caught my arm in a quick movement, "Who told you that?" He frowned. "Can you deny it?" I retorted and my eyes turned watery. His face grew tense and he avoided my gaze.

"You were never here when I needed you... You barely came home... You..." I was trembling. Ferit's grip on my hand loosened. "There were nights when Bulut cried after seeing Zeynep and Demir in his dreams... He needed you, Ferit" His gaze finally fell on me.

The same tormented and insecure look appeared in his eyes. He pressed the bridge of his nose and swallowed, "I'm sorry" He replied. "You don't have to care about me... I don't care about the things that you did behind my back either... All I want from you is to be around Bulut" A few tears escaped me.

I knew I was lying then. I cared a lot about what Ferit did behind my back. I didn't want him to be with another woman now.

A soft hand caressed my face and Ferit lifted my chin to meet his eyes. "I never cheated on you Nazli. It didn't even cross my mind" He caught what I was hinting at, "That was... I wasn't..." No response came to my mind.

Ferit sighed and sat on the floor, leaning back on the shelf of records. His face defined his disappointment in me, I just doubted whether my husband cheated on me after the death of his sister. It felt more complicated than expected.

"This is just the way I am" He mumbled and stared ahead blankly. I was overcome with guilt now, I sat down next to him. "I didn't mean that... I... I just missed you..." I mumbled, my face was scarlet now.

Ferit turned to me, a warm glint in his eyes. "I missed you too" His hand  caressed my face and he leaned in to kiss the tip of my nose.

"Mr.Nihat was an incredible man... He was there for me and my father during our hardest times... He helped me get away from my mother... He never left my father" Ferit took a deep breath.

"He loved Zeynep a lot... But he never told her the things our parents did... He didn't want her to think bad about them... He kept our family's secret" He paused to stare at me.

"Nazli..." He cupped my hand and kissed it softly, "There are many things that I want to tell you... But I can't do it" "Why not?" I replied. "No... It's hard to even think about them... I'm sorry" He replied.

"Zeynep would also push me to talk at times... She knew that something was up between me and my parents but I never told her. Now I wish she knew..." He mumbled, "I distanced myself from everyone... I made sure to go the farthest college from home-" "America?" I said, "Yes. America" He nodded.

"Well... Is it something that you can't fix?" I asked him and he frowned, "Huh?" "Did you try talking it out with your mother?" I repeated. He blinked at me a couple of times before getting up from my side. "I am not forgiving that woman" He went upstairs and I followed him.