"Oh...man.." It was hard for the half breed to respond to Anna's recount of that day. Watching as the tears ran down her face, her knees tucked up to her chest and her eyes squeezed shut, was somehow harder to handle than giving a speech in front of a fresh blood class. He could practically feel the sinking pit of disparity radiating off the faded pink haired girl. It took everything in him not to crack wise. Humor... admittedly was his coping mechanism. A very obvious one if people paid attention. But maybe his jokelessness was a blessing here. Anna was becoming increasingly aware of just how facetious Lucian was. Not that she minded of course, he made her laugh and smile. But this wasn't one of those times where his humor was going to work. She didn't know where else to go, so, she had sought him out, finding him in the garden, relaxing in the gazebo under the soggy morning sun.
She just couldn't get it out of her head.
Anna had practically collapsed when she got back to her room, the gruesome images repeating in her mind causing a nauseous feeling to spread through her body, and making it incredibly hard not to cry. She closed her door, took off her coat, plopped her bag down on the floor and crawled into bed. She didn't have anything else to do that day, so the rest of her time until dinner that night was spent laying down, trying to sort through the spider web of empathetic grief and fear and disgust. Either curled up under the covers to revel in the darkness and pretend like she wasn't there, or clutching one of her two pillows.
Today she could have gone downstairs and watched TV, or read, but aside from the mandatory at least one meal a day she didn't do much. She didn't want to do much. Quite frankly she felt it impossible to enjoy her time after what she had just seen. Couldn't have recreational time, and it seemed like this was a psychological response of sorts that the higher-ups knew about, because the next day she found a new schedule written up for her on her door. The next two days crossed off and filled in with "recovery". So at least there was that, she didn't have to go to the training ground for a little bit. She would probably have trouble focusing if she tried. A struggle that didn't get much better as she spent her recovery days trying not to drown herself in the traumatic images and the newfound Revelation that Outcasts could steal souls.
But just because they knew about it, didn't mean they knew how to fix or soothe it. Lucian had been with the order for a long time, one of the first reborn, but believe it or not this was his first time seeing the rejection reaction. He'd heard about it, but the only other Outcasts he got close to were either from his Wave, or had to be under secret supervision. It was awkward, heartbreaking, and in all honesty made his guts twist into knots a little bit. Such is the price one pays for being an empath, not that anybody asks for it.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair and eventually, because he didn't have the words, giving her a small pat on the back. A "there there" sort of gesture, he didn't feel like he was particularly good at this. And all Anna could do with cry, she just didn't understand why they had to do that. "Why... Why do we need to...t-take souls from monsters?.." She sobbed, her voice creaking and weak, "I don't have a good answer for that, kid." he said somberly, "It's cruel!" she insisted with a roughness, "I know." he agreed.
But cruelty wasn't always avoidable. Sometimes there was no other choice, or the other choice was even worse. Sometimes it really was kill or be killed, sometimes the life of one needed to be taken in order to protect many. But that was a lesson he kept to himself, he had a very good feeling that saying it wouldn't help her. So instead he gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Look... You're right, it isn't fair. It's not something that we should be doing." And mentally prayed that his next words would be of any help. "I don't like to do it either. It makes my skin crawl, even if I didn't have the same reaction as you." Part of him wanted to blame that on being a werewolf but, who really knew. "But unfortunately, this is how things are. At least, you, have a choice."
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Shattered Legacies: Book 1, Holo Change
General FictionAnna splashed the warm water on her face, running her hands over her wet skin in attempts to set herself straight. "It was just a thought" she told herself, just an odd thought. Why get do rattled? It was exactly like Dr Jefferson had said: it was l...
