Miracle baby

loneliness

Stef's: POV
As l'm sitting in the car in front of our house thinking back to the first time we brought this house. Thoughts filling the rooms with our future children. Lena was beyond excited
The happiness she's ever been
As l think to the day we found out
She was pregnant. Our prayers were finally answered, everything was going good so far. up until her six month, Lena was in excruciating pain
We got to the hospital. The doctor hook her up to the monitors that's when we didn't hear our son's heartbeat anymore, l've never seen her so broken before. She sunk into a deep depression, she pushed me away
It's like l didn't recognize the woman l
Married. The countless augments
We had over who was to blame
I ended up going back to work the next day leaving Lena alone
Maybe it was foolish on my end
to let her deal with the pain on her own. I burial myself into my work
We became total strangers, the tension in our home was so thick
At times l dread coming home
I stay at work late most nights and other times I went down to the beach
Just to watch the waves, l blame God for taking our innocent baby from us
Who had nothing to do with our problems. That was three years ago
We went to marriage counseling
to get to the roof of our problems
It us a whole year in Therapy, to find the caused our issues. Lena said l never put her first, in a way she was right. I been neglecting her needs
We barely spent time alone no more
I didn't think she needed me anymore
It took Lena serving me separation papers for me to finally wake up
I didn't want to lose the life we created. I realized that I selfish
And inconsiderate of her feelings
We said a lot of things to each other
in the heated of the moment. Now we have a second chance to try again
And this time my soul focus is to be the best wife I can be for her and our future child. We did the whole lVF progress four months, and did our research to find a suitable donor
It took a month of going through the register to search for the perfect candidate. We choose a biracial male
Was a music professor in England
Lately Lena's been sick as a dog
Even when we were away on the cruise, that we went on a few months back. I didn't want to get my hopes up again, and see Lena broken to pieces
We didn't want a third party involved
That would carry our child. That was out of the question, so we wait patiently for our miracle.