Man in Black

44. Hope

The service was over and all I could hear was chitter-chatter of everyone who came to attend the funeral, few narrating the story of how she died, while the others listening pitying the girl, cursing the driver once in a while, and wishing that the drive will die the same gruesome way, like I did not understand how that would help, like the person we actually care about or love is gone what is the use of all this and the fact or the idea of killing someone is too pathetic.

The worst part about funerals is when people walk up to you and be like ‘it's ok everything happens for a reason or god wanted a good soul near him ’ every time I hear these stupid lines it makes me want to rip my arm out and hit them with it. No reason is good for someone to leave, never.

Ignoring everyone I walked towards an empty bench sitting on it. Every time I looked at her picture, tears started brimming up in my eyes. I couldn't take it the hurt was real, the pain was real, she gone was real. I just hoped she would jump out of the casket and be like ‘ hey there shawty’ I know it would scare the crap out of everyone but at least I would get my best friend back.

I turned off my phone as thousands of messages started pouring in. Everyone says you should be around people during this time but all I wanted to do is be all by myself where I could not hear anything.

I stood up walking towards Duncan who was busy talking to his men instructing them about something, looking at me he diverted his whole attention towards me “ can we go home ?” I questioned. He smiled gently holding my hand “ anything you want my love ” he said guiding me towards the entrance.

Damon, crystal, Andrew, and Lexi were at the entrance greeting and thanking people for coming. I walked towards them gently placing a hand on drew's shoulder, he immediately turned around “ hey there baby sister” he said hugging me. Moving back I smiled “ I am leaving,” I said walking out, I could not stand there another second looking at their sad faces.

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I immediately walked up to my room ignoring Duncan's calls, I shut the door locking it, the tears started flowing down automatically, my head playing the memories of me and jess, my legs giving up I fell, I moved against the bed, leaning my head against it I pulled my legs closer to my chest holding it tightly, I felt like I was going insane.

I could hear loud banging on the door and Duncan yelling “ baby girl please open the door ”. It was like I could not move or more like I did not want to.

With the loud thud, the door was broken and Duncan walked in taking in my form, he sat down next to me. He gently lifted me placing me on the bed, he moved in next to me. Rubbing away the tears from my cheeks he placed a kiss on each of them. Pulling me closer to him hugging me tightly he gently ran his hands through my hair muttering soothing words.

“ my baby girl”

“ I am there right here, you will never be alone my love,” he said and it felt like everything inside of me started churning I hugged him tightly sobbing so badly.

I moved away from him a little so I could see his face “ how could she leave me? ”. I sobbed questioning.

“ why does it have to be her? ” Duncan sat quietly holding my hands listening patiently.

“ she always does this, she loved irritating me and now I am ready for her to irritate me as much as she wants but she is not here,” I said hugging him.

“ shh I am here, I will not leave you,” he said massaging my head gently. My head started pounding with all the crying. He placed a kiss on my cheek saying sweet nothings in my ear, finding the comfort and peace that I needed in his voice and touch I fell asleep in his arms.