Planet Acelatoria

Chaptah Tuwenti-eyt

Guilt~

Silence ensued between us. Naririnig ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. It's uncontrollable. Not sure if because of nervousness, excitement, or fear—fear of being disappointed of his answer.

Aaminin ko na. May nararamdaman na ako para kay Xavier. There's no point denying it to myself anymore. Lolokohin ko lang ang sarili ko kung ipipilit ko na wala lang lahat ng ito.

He makes my heart race, he makes my cheeks turn red, he makes me lose my breath... he mess ups my system everytime he will get close to me and tell me something that I can give another meaning.

Alam ko, hindi pa malalim ito. Hindi ko pa siya mahal. Kaya ko pang umahon mula sa nararamdaman kong ito pero... pa'no ko naman gagawin 'yon kung patuloy siyang nagpapakita ng ganitong mga motibo. Na parang... may gusto din siya sa'kin.

I don't want to assume anything. Lalo't na't may pagka-unpredictable at mysterious itong si Xavier. Mahirap siyang basahin dahil madalas niyang tinatago kung ano talagang nararamdaman niya. That's how he is. Pero naiintindihan ko naman dahil may hindi magandang pangyayari ang dala-dala niya mula pagkabata, at ngayon, hindi siya puwedeng magpakita ng kahinaan dahil siya ang susunod na hari na inaaasahan ng kanyang lolo.

He must remain cold and fearless.

Pero sana naman, ako ang gawin niyang hingahan—hingahan sa lahat ng nakakasakal niyang responsibilidad. Dahil handa akong gawin 'yon para sa kanya. The pleasure I feels whenever he genuinely smiles, it's unexplainable.

His stares went deep my soul. Ito na naman ung pakiramdam na para akong kinakausap ng mga mata niya. His serious, yet tender eyes. It's now not cold but, warm. It's just getting my hopes high.

My attention were focused on him. Patiently waiting for his answer. Tila wala akong paki-alam ngayon kahit kanino man, o kahit ano man. Sa kanya lang.

"Xavier... do you like me?" muling tanong ko kanya.

He moved his hand. Slowly reaching for my face. The moment he held it gently, I immediately felt warm and at ease. His face moved closer to me, his heavy and hot breathing just made me lose myself. The next thing I knew is that... he kissed me. Not on the cheeks, not on the forehead, but on my lips. A soft and gentle kiss that gave a different—new feeling. That I've never experienced before.

"The hell am I seeing?"

Biglang nagiging unstable ang chopper. It almost made me fall from my seat buti na lang at nakaseat belt ako!

Agad tumikhim si Xavier at nag-iwas tingin. "Lt. Neud, fix the way you operate the chopper..."

"I-I apologize, G-General,"Sore eyes said to Xavier before he glanced at me then, being focused on piloting the chopper again.

I glanced at Xavier. Hindi pa rin siya lumilingon sa'kin at patuloy lang na nakatanaw sa bintana ng aming sinasakyan. I turned away my gaze at hindi ko na napigilang mapangiti matapos ang nangyari.

Nagtagumpay na naman ang kagandahan mo, Clardia. Well, kailan ba nareject ang beauty ko? Never. And it seems like even the cold brat of the Montevillas can't resist me.

***

"Welcome back, bes!"

Nagulat ako pagbukas ko ng pinto ng aking kuwarto. Pa'no ba naman kasi, nandoon si Zain sa kama ko at komportableng nakahiga, habang si Kiefer naman ay nasa sofa at kalong-kalong si Nebula.