Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

17

¤ Numbing ¤

Monday, 9:10am.

I had seemed to wake up before anyone else. I decided to go downstairs and make myself a coffee since I hadn't slept great last night. I took my phone with me, pulling up my text messages with my finger hovering over Christina's contact. I debated if I should tell her, knowing what would be best, but still fearing what could possibly happen.

Although, what was it that actually could happen? I knew that she wouldn't judge and that she would only want to help me in any way possible. Gavin would have no idea that I was telling someone about the shit he had done. It would be no harm to tell her.

Gwen

Hey Chris... I need to tell you something.

I set my phone down on the counter, exhaling a big breath. I didn't expect her to respond all that quick so I tried to push it out of my mind while I began on my coffee.

I was already restless today although I'd only been up for a quarter of an hour. I knew I would have to go back to my place today and sort everything out. I wasn't excited about that. Seeing the mess only brought memories to the surface - memories that I tried so hard to forget over the past weeks. I had dreaded today ever since I got back from Christina's yesterday.

I took my mug of black coffee and added to it when I got a message back.

Christina

Hey Gwen, you can tell my anything. Would it be better if I called you?

Gwen

Yeah, that would be.

I huffed, a part of me wanting to take back my decision to tell anyone else, but this would only be good for me.

I tapped my nails in a soft rhythm on my mug as I waited several seconds for her call. Then, I picked up with a clouded, restless mind.

"Hi, how's it going?" I asked, not wanting to jump right into it.

"It's alright, how about you?"

I felt a little bit of comfort just from hearing her voice.

"There's not a dull moment, I guess," I sighed.

"Tell me what's going on, love."

I bit my lip for a brief, then let it go from in between my teeth with no more than the flashbacks of yesterday to recount.

"After I left yesterday, I went home and my house was completely trashed. Like, things were broken and pillows and furniture slashed and just a huge mess."

"He did this?" She asked a moment later.

"Yes. I was dumb and didn't get the spare key back from him or changed the locks or anything."

"Hey, you aren't dumb. That's an honest mistake when you've got everything else going on. Don't blame yourself, hun." She said and I wanted to believe her, but it felt impossible.

"Still I-" I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say. Maybe because Christina had a point. I had had too much on my mind for way too long now. I needed to cut myself some slack. "Yeah, I'm a mess from all of this."

"That's okay, though," Christina started, "everything will get better in time and for now, I'll help you get your place back to normal, okay?"

"Are you sure? You really don't have to. It's a mess I caused, it has nothing to do with you," I said, hating the fact that I felt like I was dragging people down with me. I never wanted to involve anyone, but that all went to hell once the media got a hold of everything.