Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

6

¤ Don't Push Me Away ¤

5:45pm, Thursday

Call me when things start to feel like they're getting worse.

Call me.

Blake's words kept running through my mind as I stared down at my phone in my lap. I wanted to call him so bad. Actually, I wanted to run into his arms and have him protect me from the person that's decided to message me two weeks after beating me and considering us done. But I couldn't run to him. The best I could do was to call him, like he said.

Although that was what he had told me to do, I couldn't help but feel that I would bother him and his family in some way. I didn't want to take him away from anything important. I didn't want to bore him. I didn't want to be the burden that Gavin kept saying I was. But I needed someone right now, I was a mess.

Gavin

Stop trying to tell the world what happened, bitch! What the media knows is true, okay?! It's the truth! Next time you try to speak up and make it better for yourself, I'll be on your doorstep, ready to remind you why you're such a failure!

Gavin

Stop messing everything up like you always do dammit!

To anyone reading those texts, they would say I'm overreacting right now. Tears steaming down my face, my trembling hands, the panicking... This was all because the flashbacks were coming back to me. I hadn't heard from him for a week and that week was bliss compared to this last year. Now, he was threatening to show up at my place and beat the crap out of me if I say anything disagreeing with the claims he's made. What if I accidentally did something that he didn't like? Would he still come after me?

I decided I would type a text out to Blake instead of call him. I was clearly crying and I didn't feel like having him know that.

Gwen

I'm so so sorry... if you're busy then don't mind this message. I just need someone right now. Things feel like they're getting worse and I'm scared as much as I hate to admit that.

I read over the text after I sent it, regretting it almost instantly. I sounded so needy, like a crybaby. What would Blake think?

Gwen

I'm sorry... I know I sound like a baby. Don't answer, I'll be fine.

But typing out that text only made me feel worse. I fell back on my bed, pulling the covers over myself as I tried to block out the memories.

Shit. I was so stupid for forgetting that one item that Gavin wanted me to pick up. I wondered what he would say and what he would do to me. Would it be as bad as the last time this happened? Probably worse for being the second time. Apparently I was supposed to learn my lesson from the first time.

I walked in the door, dropping the bag on the kitchen counter quietly. I didn't want to be noticed after I put away our groceries. I wanted to hide and wait this out as long as was possible. But that didn't seem to be the case.