Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

3

¤ A Friendly Someone I Don't Deserve ¤

11:15am, Friday

"Gwen, I'm not sure what you're trying to go for in this new album of yours. It only further proves what the media is saying." A person from my management team went on to comment as I was stuck in another meeting with them today. I sighed, not sure what they wanted from me as they kept giving me mixed messages about everything. I would even go as far to say that they were on Gavin's side like everyone else in the world and not on my side. No one was on my side, because only I knew what really happened.

"Do I have to release an album right now with all of this going on?" I asked them, wanting the drama to at least calm down first although I was sure this would last for a while. It's not everyday some famous artist sleeps with a fan and then keeps him under her hold for a year, being controlling and abusing him before leaving out of the blue.

That never happened. That was how the news took it and turned it around. Frankly, it was almost the opposite. Yes, I was stupid enough to sleep with a fan, but I was stupid enough to not realize how abusive and controlling he was and how, in reality, he wanted nothing but to push me around for his own satisfaction. How could I have been so stupid?

"Yes, you have to. We're on a two year agreement and if you want to still stay relevant then you've got to release more music." They told me. I frowned, but gave in. I knew I would still be relevant either way for another few years to come, just not in a good light.

"Okay. So what would you like me to do for this album?"

11:40am, Friday

I quickly scrambled out of the building, ready to move on with my day. I had a few minutes where I could go home and relax before I had to resume my busy day. At least I would get a second to breathe. 

As I was rushing out to my car, paparazzi were swarming the streets with cameras and questions and accusations. I knew this would only get worse over time. It had only been a week since the news flooded the tabloids about what I had allegedly done. I just had to brave through this, refraining from giving the paparazzi anything that would please them.

"Gwen? Why date a fan when you have so many options in the entertainment industry?" One blurted out.

I kept on walking. It was none of their business to know about that stuff, but that was what I got with this job.

"Why would you say Mr. Rossdale abused you? Clearly, no one would do that to someone with as much power as you once had." Another said.

I had tried to tell the truth, but stopped fighting for justice when the hate got too bad. I had no idea that one man could do all this damage either. It wasn't just the tabloids that couldn't believe it.

"You're disgusting for beating a fan!"

But I hadn't.

"Look at all the fans you've lost because of your bad choices! What do you have to say about that?"

I couldn't say anything anymore. It was useless to try and get the truth out there. I just wanted to break down and cry, right there and right then.

"No one's going to want to date you after this. You've scared them away."

That hurt, because it was true. Gavin kept saying I was deserving of nothing, that no one would ever want me. He got that right.