Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

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¤ Make Me Laugh ¤

8:04pm, Monday

Tears fell down my cheeks as I tried to forget about the last year. It was a destructive year that only put me in a wagon heading downhill to hell at top speed. I had never expected that all this hardship could happen in one year, but it had. I was broken, I knew it. I should  have probably talked to someone, anyone at this point, but I was afraid to let my guard down. I wondered what they would think of me. Would I appear stupid and irresponsible to them? Would I appear scared and weak to them? That's how I saw myself right now. Stupid, irresponsible, scared and weak. I couldn't handle one thing in my life without it going wrong, could I? It felt as though everything I touched, died. So far, that was how it was shaping out to be.

A sob left my lips as I willed myself to calm down. I wasn't doing any good in crying on my couch, a television program on that I wasn't even watching, only proving to myself that I was that stupid, irresponsible, scared and weak girl I thought I was. I wipe my tears with one hand, trying to focus back on the television. I heard my stomach rumble and I remembered how I had skipped dinner. There wasn't much of a plausible reason as to why I skipped that meal today. I just felt disgusting and the flashbacks were clouding my mind, making it harder to digest any food. So the last time I had eaten was something small for a late breakfast when I finally got up this morning. I still wasn't too fond of the idea of eating now. What good would it do? I didn't want to be here, crying my face off like this each night, tending to my bruises, scars and living in fear that he would come back.

Now, above all times that I questioned myself of this, did it feel like I had no answer.

What was I doing with my life?

Suddenly, a ding from my phone took my out of my trance. A part of me was afraid to check it, a part of me told that other part to suck it up and make sure it wasn't anyone who genuinely cared about me anymore. Those days were gone and I was on my one.

Except, what met my eyes was something so unexpected. It was so out of place and made little to no sense, that it erupted a sound out of me that I thought I'd never hear again.

I laughed through my tears at the text as I read it. The fact that they'd gotten the wrong number made it even more funny. A smile was now etched on my face as I decided what to text back.

Gwen

What is this? Please explain, it makes no sense.

Unknown

Really Adam? U asked for it, y do I have to explain it?

Gwen

Maybe because I'm not Adam.

Unknown

Oh shit! I'm sorry... I didn't mean to send that 2 u

Gwen

It's fine to be honest. First time I've laughed in months. So thank you, stranger.

Unknown

Well thanks for being so chill about that. Now I gtg find Adam

Gwen

Gtg? Meaning what? Sorry, I'm not used to texting.

Unknown

Means got to go. No problem about that

I stared at my screen for longer than I should have, my eyes lingering over the simple text conversation that I just had with this stranger. Already, my heart felt lighter and my lips weren't shaped in a frown anymore. That was a nice surprise even if it only lasted a short time.