Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

4

¤ Talk To Me ¤

8:50am, Saturday

{Dream}
"Go on," He shoved me into the party. It was such a slight yet aggressive shove that caused me to stumble into the crowd without being noticed as out of the ordinary. "Go get us drinks. It's all you're good for," Gavin whispered into my ear. I knew no better than to nod and obey his command.

"Yes, Gavin." I told him, heading to the bar. I ordered our drinks and waited as they got prepared. My eyes scanned the party, seeing nothing special, but still my anxiety spiked at the fact that there were so many other people here. So many other people who deserved so much more than I did.

As I took over drinks back to where Gavin was, I put his down on the table he was sat at with another beautiful blonde. I decided not to interrupt their conversation, hanging off to the side, a safe distance from them. I had only taken a very few sips from my cocktail drink, trying to occupy myself with anything I could, when I felt a tug on my arm.

I turned to be faced with Gavin. He was angry, fuming, but this only confused me. Had I done something wrong? Probably. I swiftly put my drink down on our table before he yanked me behind him. I stumbled over my feet, trying to keep up with his pace as he dragged me out the back of the building.

As the cool outside air hit my body, raising the hairs on my skin, I was pushed up against a brick wall. I held my breath, afraid to say much that would only get me in even more trouble.

Gavin looked around us quickly to make sure we were alone so he could continue with his lecture.

I squeezed myself up against the brick as he got closer, his face inches from mine, his fuming breath being blown in my face. The smell of cigarette smoke was prominent on his breath as it normally was.

"What did you think you were doing? I was clearly talking to someone there, someone much better than the piece of shit you are, and you come along to scare her away!" He yelled in my face. I closed my eyes when he got too close to me. "Like fuck! You're so much trouble to take anywhere!"

At this, I felt a slap across my cheek. It stung and burned as he pulled his hand back. I felt myself start to shake out of fear as I raised my hand to touch the spot where he hit me. It wasn't anything new, but every time it happened, it still shocked me to an extent.

"You annoying little bitch! Watch yourself or you're on your own with that stupid kid of yours!"

Then, he stormed off back into the party.

This was when I got pregnant the first time. Gavin never wanted children, but for some reason he would love to use my body anytime he needed an orgasm to feel good. No protection what so ever. I had always wanted children so I had somehow become okay with him using me like that. I figured it was the good thing that came out of it.

I wasn't sure if it was all the stress I was under or all of his beatings, but my pregnancies only ended in miscarriages.

But at this time, I was sure that my baby, Kingston was going to be born. I leaned down the wall, my hand on my stomach as I willed myself not to cry.

"Don't worry little guy, you've still got me. You've still got your mama. I'll keep you safe."

When I awoke that morning, it was already near nine. It was my day off surprisingly, so I had a day to drown in my sorrows before I had to go back to living in the middle of hell. I hoped that Blake would be around today. He always lifted my spirits no matter what.