Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

2

¤ Distraction ¤

10:40pm, Tuesday

I was done with this day. Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. Still, I kept asking myself, why me? What did I do to deserve a year like this one? That question is answered quickly though, by Gavin's voice in my head.

"You're worth nothing, Gwen. You deserve everything bad that's happened to you!"

I know I do, that's what I told him in the heat of the moment. To this day, I would still say the same. I knew I was worth nothing and I knew no one gave a damn about me. As much as it hurt, I knew I couldn't reach out to someone and tell them all about my horrible day because all I would get is you deserve it.

I headed up to my bedroom, deciding I should try to get some sleep instead of drowning in alcohol at eleven at night. I didn't want to feel any worse than I would tomorrow. I knew that what was in store for me tomorrow would be just the same as today. It always was these days.

I changed into something comfortable and took off my makeup as I willed myself not to cry. I remembered when Gavin would comment about how I looked without makeup. He would tell me every morning, no matter what was going on that day, to put it on so he wouldn't have to see what I actually looked like. It hurt to hear that coming from him, but I did as I was told because all I ever wanted was a family and without him, that would never happen.

I was finally in bed a little while later, the covers pulled up to my chin as I tried not to think about the events of today. I couldn't believe what people were calling me now. Would I have to deal with that on The Voice? If so, I hoped it was only from the audience and not the coaches and contestants. I was surprised that they hadn't tried to replace me with another coach yet because of all the drama surrounding me.

I sighed right before my phone went off with a text on my nightstand. 

Blake

Hey, Gwen. How was ur day?

Gwen

Shitty, and yours? By the way, it's nice to hear from you again.

Blake

Mine was boring, nothing special

Blake

And I wanted to text u again because ur fun to talk to. I hope that's ok with u 

Gwen

Yeah, that's fine with me. I have nothing better to do. And you think I'm fun to talk to?

Blake

Of course u are. U don't think my jokes r awful or at least you don't say so

Gwen

They're funny, honestly. They get a laugh out of me and that's saying something. 

Blake

Well I'm glad I can make u laugh 

I smiled to myself, thinking about the fact that this guy cared enough to ask me about my day and carry on a conversation with me. Somehow, I didn't encounter people like that very often.