Make It All Make Sense | Shefani

8

¤ Sunshine, I'm Here ¤

1:34pm, Friday

When I fluttered my eyes open once again, I could only squint at the bright lights above me. Reaching up to block the light from my eyes, I looked around, completely dazed and confused. I couldn't remember where I was and my head was pounding with a major headache. All that I could think about was how this moment was almost equivalent to how many of Gavin's beatings ended. I couldn't help but let my anxiety run wild. What if I was in a dream before and Gavin was back to beat me? What if he was here right now?

I started to get so nervous that I freaked out at a simple tap to my arm from a cold plastic water bottle. The sudden jerk that my body made in response only caused my headache to get more intense. I tried to ease myself up into a sitting position and was finally able to about a minute later. I held the palm of my hand to my head, still trying to figure out why this place seemed so familiar. I knew it wasn't my house or the studio, but I knew I was here at some point before. 

I reached over with a shaky hand to grab the water. After opening it, I took a few sips, only noticing how nauseated I was. I felt terrible. 

"Okay, good thing you're back. Let's continue." My manager said as he walked in. I looked over at him, confused, but he didn't look back at me. 

More people filed into the room as my memory slowly came back to me. My gaze was met with a red-head woman carrying a stack of papers. She was dressed up very professionally. I couldn't remember who exactly she was, but I knew she had been asking me questions before everything started to fade out. They were questions that only made me feel worse about myself. 

This was an interview, wasn't it?

"Miss Stefani? Can we continue? I don't have all day..." The woman said to me, sitting in the chair I was sat on the floor beside. 

"Y-Yes, I'm sorry... I'm not sure what happened." I said, scrambling to my feet. I ignored the headache the best I could, sitting across from the interviewer. 

I felt lightheaded and dizzy with simply sitting in a chair, but I tried to focus nonetheless. 

"So moving on, when are we going to hear more music from you, Gwen?" She asked. It was an oh so simple question. I could answer this one however I wanted without having to guess what Gavin would think of it. But as my head pounded and my heart continued to race about with the situation I was in, I couldn't answer. 

I grabbed onto the sides of the chair to stabilize myself. It felt like I was floating, like I had no control over myself. 

"I'm sorry... I-I'm not feeling great. Can I... can I..." I shook my head, not being able to formulate a proper sentence. I was so shaken by what had happened and my headache was only making it worse for me to formulize thoughts that made sense. 

A few of the crew men came over to help when they saw how out of it I seemed. I still clutched onto the chair as they tried to gently move me from the seat and to the floor. 

"Hey! What are you guys doing? We're trying to get an interview done and she's just fine. Give her moment, okay?" The interviewer snapped at her crew. They backed out of frame, leaving me to try not to fall of the chair and pass out once again. This was too much, I could feel my anxiety spiking. Did they really expect me to continue on like this? 

My manager then spoke up from the back of the room, "I agree. Gwen, you'll be fine. You only fainted, now get yourself together. We have somewhere to be in a half hour." 

I nodded, cringing at my headache, as I knew nothing better than to follow along with his orders. 

"So, Gwen? When can we hear some new music from you?" The woman asked again. I straightened up, trying to answer to the best of my ability. I just had to get through this day and then I could eat and rest. Although I didn't feel hungry after this.