Broken Translations

Ludicrous Speed! (from Spaceballs)

Originally written by Mel Brooks.
Google Translated by @SteamFan3830.

We're closing in on them, sir. In less than a minute, Lone Starr will be ours.
Have them sign, sir. Star Meadow will be ours in less than a minute.

Good. Prepare to attack.
All ready to attack.

Prepare to attack!
Ready to attack.

On the count of three. One...two... Too late! What happened? Where are they?!
Three results. One...two...so. what happened? where is? !!

I don't know, sir! They must have hyperjets on that thing.
I don't know, sir. There must be signs.

And what do we got on this thing, a Cuisinart?!
What can we learn from Quizinart?

No, sir!
My God

Well, find them! Catch them!
To discover. Hi!

Yes sir! Prepare ship for light speed!
Yes sir! Fix this ship as soon as possible.

No no no, light speed is too slow!
No, no, the speed of light is too slow.

Light speed's too slow?
Has the speed of light slowed down?

Yes, we'll have to go right to... ludicrous speed!
Yeah, that seems kinda bullshit to me, it seems BT isn't for me anymore.

Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it.
Happy speed? Sir, we are never angry. I don't know if I can take the train.

What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
What happened to Colonel Sanders? scream?

Prepare ship... Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seat belts! Seal all entrances and exits! Close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo-
Build a ship...build a ship at the wrong speed. Tighten all belts. Close all entrances and exits and close all locations. Clean all three parts of the circus. All animals are protected except cages

Gimme that, you petty excuse for an officer! Now hear this! Ludicrous speed!
Our apologies to the authorities, sorry, now they hear meaningless discounts.

Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?
Sir, are the seat belts fastened?

Ah, buckle this! Ludicrous speed, Go!
This is a really interesting game, Zap!

What have I done?! My brains... are going into my feet!
What have you done !! My brain... is growing

What the hell was that?!
What is it?

Spaceball One.
pass the ball

They've gone to plaid!
They have not.

We passed them! Stop this thing!
I miss you very much. This is the end.

We can't stop! It's too dangerous! We've got to slow down first!
We can't take it anymore! It's dangerous. It must be late first.

Bullshit! Just stop this thing! I order you! STOP!
Damn it, plant it. I do not know!

Are you all right, sir?
Hello sir

Fine. How've you been?
Often needed

Fine, sir.
Hey boss.

Good.
To organize

It's a good thing you were wearing that helmet.
It is best to wear this hat.

Yeah.
Until.

What do we do now?
What are we doing now?

Well, are we stopped?
Do we wake up?

We're stopped, sir.
Believe me, sir.

Good. Well, why don't we take a five-minute break?
So why not take a five minute break?

Very good, sir.
Alright sir.

Smoke if you got 'em.
Keep it in the lens.