The Story Of Us ▸▸ Kellic

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Thanks so much for 2k!!

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"He hates me." I groaned, laying down on the couch as Tony and looked around the apartment.

"He doesn't hate you." He noted.

"Yes, he does." I insisted.

"If I know Vic as well as I do, I can assure you that he does not hate you."

"He has every reason to hate me, so why wouldn't he?"

"Because he loves you." Tony snapped a little irritably. "Sorry, I just don't want you to mope about this..."

"I'm not trying to, really." I defended, closing my eyes. "I just don't know what to do right now."

"...You know he's right, right?"

"About?"

"When you told me he said you brought this on yourself."

"So it's my fault for not wanting to get physical with him?" I snapped.

"No, but it is your fault for running away instead of fixing the problem. You made it worse by calling it off."

"I needed time-"

"And you had time." Tony interrupted. "Are you purposely torturing yourself? It's so obvious how much you want to be with him still."

"But he doesn't want to be with me."

"I don't think I've seen Vic look at anyone the same way he looks at you."  Tony continued. "And want to know something? That look stayed the same even after you broke up with him. I think he loves you too much to even begin to dislike you."

"I just... I don't know."

"The tension between you two is literally over the line now. I feel awkward about hanging out with Mike because of this."

"I'm sor-"

"If you're sorry, fix it!" Tony finally yelled. I jumped back a little at how straightforward he was being. "Sorry, but you really do need to fix this."

"I guess I could talk to him, but not tonight."

"Thank you." Tony said with a sigh of relief before leaving the room and going into his. I pursed my lips, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. I was everything superior to nervous. It felt like the beginning all over again, where I denied everything I felt for Vic until I couldn't anymore.

I didn't want to deny anything anymore. I just wanted to be honest, but it's so hard sometimes.

I went to bed a little after Tony, not even bothering to read or check my messages. Vic wouldn't have texted me goodnight anyways. It was still a little bit early when I went to bed, because usually I sleep around eleven, but I decided I was tired enough to sleep at nine. It didn't take long before I fell asleep, and that's a bit of a relief.

From: Vic at 10:40 p.m

Goodnight Kellin

--- -

I woke up in the morning, slamming the off button on my alarm clock before getting up and getting dressed. I was a little bit behind; My alarm clock lagged by about ten minutes. Tony had already left, considering the apartment was deadly silent. It took me several minutes to decide whether or not I actually really wanted to go to class. If I skipped I think I'd feel worse. 

So with that, I skipped breakfast and went to class hurriedly, tuning in immediately, trying to bury myself in the subject instead of thinking about Vic. That was pretty hard to accomplish, but I managed with it for most of the class, and most of the day.

After all of my classes were over, I headed straight home where I had undoubtedly left my art supplies. Tony still wasn't home, so I decided to walk around a bit. After throwing my pencils and sketchpad into my book bag, I hurried out of the house and made my way down the road, pondering what I could do. I thought about where Vic always went to think.

Maybe I should go and think there too.

I turned the corner before looking at the isolated pond. No one was there, but I didn't expect anyone to be there either. With a huff, I took a seat at one of the many picnic tables before pulling out my sketchbook and pencils, examining my drawing of Vic. Ms. Cecil had extended our project time, and it was due this coming Monday. I totally forgot about it until I got to class. I swore right then I was done, and that I was going to flunk out because this was worth a lot of credits. Then, after seeing so many kids weren't done, she gave us a warning and extended it another week.

My gaze trailed down what I had drawn of Vic, which was everything but about half of his lips. It's hard not having your model there to finish off and perfect the photo, but I could manage with it. I only had half of his lips to do anyway. 

Slowly, I sketched the outline of his lips multiple times, getting frustrated and taking a break every now and then. Eventually, I got it where it needed to be, but I still wasn't happy. Just seeing my drawing of him  made me sad. It was a continual decision between loving and hating the drawing. It looked almost exactly like him, and that's what was the hardest. He wasn't here, but it almost felt like he was. I trailed my eyes down the sketch, making out the tiny little flaws that seemed to make the picture look better. 

With a frustrated huff, I shoved the sketch away from me, letting it flip over on the table. I didn't even want to turn it in; I just wanted to draw something else. I wiped my eyes hastily, noting that tears were building up in them again. Fuck my emotions, they ruin me every day it seems.

I began sketching again, making small boxes before drawing ivory leaves that hung from the sides. I drew skid marks around the entire drawing, trying to create my own story within the sketch. It was a sign that even though my life could be filled with ivory leaves and happiness, I was really torn down the center too.

I kept adding more and more things to the point where it looks liked a mess. I smiled at what I had done. Slowly, I wrote large and bold letters in each box, spelling out breathe me. I don't know why I put those very words there, but they seemed to connect with something heavy in my heart. By the end of the drawing, several hours had passed and what had I created? A mess.

But that was totally fine, because in the end, my biggest issue was that I too, was a mess.

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