Softness In Love

Fathers and Announmemts

Amari's POV

   As I walk away from practice, I don't go straight home, instead, heading towards the park a couple streets away, the pack lands filled with the sounds of families and wolves living about their lives.

   My walk is unhurried and calm as I reach the branch thats near the creek, the late afternoon late warm as the breeze moves the trees making them sway to the music of the world.

   'What's wrong, Amari?' Atlas asks me, confused on what I could be upset about in a day like today.

    But I ignore him, letting my thoughts wander and allowing myself to think and feel the words that have been swirling around in my brain all day. 'I should be able to go home and tell my Dad that I found my Mate. I should be able to get some manly advice from my pops, so I don't feel like I'm going to ruin it all.' I say, not really to anyone, just pushing my thoughts into the world, not expecting anything back in return.

    'I miss him too, Amari.' He tells me, and I feel my eyes water, and I close them, hanging my head slightly, my elbows on my legs as I rest my head in my hands.

     I should be happy.

    I found my Mate, who's better than I could have ever hoped for.

    The only thing that wolves life and die for.

    And yet, I can't be happy. I don't feel the sense of joy and excitement to rush how to tell my parents all about what happened. I feel angry that my mom had enough to deal with with Tris. Angry that there's no one to help her, or us. Angry that life sucks and that there's shit all I can do about it.

    I sit and stare at the nature in front of me, the thing slowly flowing stream, jagged rocks breaking up the smooth flow of water. The trees dancing and swaying in the wind, the leaves singing a soft song that brushed against my ears. The sound of the world around me, undisturbed by the voices of others, makes the noise in my head lower, my thoughts finally clearing enough to think and take a deep breath.

    'He left because he was a selfish ignorant man who thinks that being an Omega means being weak. If he saw you now, he would know that the only one weak in this family is him.' Atlas tells me and I smile to myself.

    'I wish I didn't want him here.' I admit, quietly hating myself for even thinking about wanting him here, when he's made it very clear that it's the last place he wants to be.

      Me being an Omega was more important than me being a good person, or a good brother, or a sweet kid. Having to work twice as hard to get the same thing that comes naturally to everyone else was apparently too much of a burden for my dad to carry.

     I pull my hands from my head and shove them in my pockets before leaking back on the bench, feeling like the dirty beneath my feet, wishing I could feel as happy as I'm supposed to.

    I frown when my fingers brush against something in my pocket, and when I pull it out, I smile when I see the slip of paper Charlie gave me, his number written neatly across. My lips curve into a smile, and I pull o it my phone, thoughts about my father fading as I text my Mate, the love of my life, for the first time.

   By the time he responds, I'm in my way heading home, the ding of his texts keeping me company as I make my way there.

    When I get home, I open the door before setting my book bag down by the door, knowing that my teachers won't expect homework from me tonight. I walk into the kitchen where I hear giggles, and smile when I see Tris prancing around the kitchen in a tutu, a plastic sword in hand as she dances around with her deadly weapon.

   I laugh as I reach forward and grab my sister from the middle of her dance, her squeal of excitement and exasperation making my laugh stronger as I raise her up to give her a hug and kiss, which she quickly returns before wiggling took get down.

   "Hey, Mari." I hear and I turn towards my mom to see her smiling as she cooks, her hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail that swishes as she moves.

    "Hey, mom." I answer, and before I can say anything else, she looks up, placing her hand on her hip before narrowing her eyes, and I roll my eyes, trying my best to get rid of the amused smile that pulls at my lips.

    "How was your day?" She asks me innocently, and I know that if I don't tell her now, she'll be waiting for it until she bursts from impatience.

   My smile grows sheepish as I glance at the floor, Warrior training seeming a lot easier than any of this. "I found my Mate today, mom." I tell her, and I watch as her eyes soften, her hand going to her chest. I smile wider, walking towards her as she opens her arms, though I don't miss the worry, heartbreak right behind it as I look into her eyes.

    Moms never said it, but I know when dad left, her faith in our Goddess and in Mates went away, and since Dad never rejected her, and she couldn't bring herself to in fear of carrying the pain, so she never got another chance at love.

    'Maybe shes where you get all of your joyous vies about love from.' Atlas says mockingly, and I bare my teeth at me absentmindedly and he ignores me, our attention on mom who's holding me to her chest tightly. After a few moments she leans back and pulls me towards the island before sitting down next to me, her hand on mine as she smiles at me softly.

    "I know you don't think I believe in love anymore, but I do. It's happiness that's tricky, love is more common than people think." She tells me with a small smile, and I know she's thinking about when her and dad just met, though she never talks about him anymore.

    "What if I don't think I'm ready for love?" I ask her, thoughts form earlier returning, the insecurities and doubts quick to try to take root, but my moms words are stronger.

    "Then you would be smart. If love was something that we were all ready for, I doubt our hearts would break so easily. Being ready is a subjective idea that you can never really reach. The only thing you can do is put your best forward, try, and always be sincere." She tells me, leaning over to hug me softly, before she pulls back, the heavy mood lifting along with the corners of her lips. "Now tell me all about him."

   "He's a human boy. He's taller than me, but he's actually very shy and quiet. He's like a gentle giant." I tell her, my mind wondering to thoughts of Charlie, and I see my mom smile making me frown in confusion before she shakes her head, placing her hand on my cheek.

    "You're already there." She tells me, smiling and shaking her head, and when she gets up to finish cooking dinner, I can't help but wonder what she meant.

~~~~~~~~~~~
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