GIRLS / ONESHOTS

you dont know me - mia x yiren

request: @youagaywolf

Yiren hated this feeling.

She didn't understand why everyone had to despise her the way they did. She tried so hard, but it was never enough. She was kind, smart, she got the best grades in the class, but it was never enough for her parents. They would never love her the way she wanted and needed. All they care about was the fact that she liked girls. Her mom looked horrified when she first heard the news, like her daughter was dead and replaced with this...thing. Her dad believed she could be fixed, and Yiren felt sick to her stomach just thinking of the things he'd do for her sake if her mom wasn't opposed to sending her away.

Yiren's life had been perfect a year ago. She was happy, she had perfect grades and her best friend Sihyeon, a family that loved her, everything a person could want. But then Yiren went and fucked it all up, she kissed Sihyeon and Sihyeon was disgusted by her. Shouldn't Yiren have known that was the reaction she would get. She wasn't normal. She liked girls the way she was supposed to like boys. Everyone in her life hated her for it. Her past so-called friends, her family, everyone.

So Yiren was alone. It created a horrible numbness within her that was starting to eat at her emotions. Yiren was forgetting how it felt to be loved, how to feel okay. How to feel anything.

"Fuck," Yiren jumped at the sound of a person walking past her desk, and looked up with bleary eyes to see a group of girls heading to the back of the classroom.

Her head hurt. She'd been trying to sleep before the school day started, but the constant torment from her ex-friends had made it impossible. She'd only just found a comfortable way to rest her head when a tall brunette accidentally bumped into her desk. It startled her into an upright position, and she caught the eyes of an apologetic girl who offered her a weak smile and a muttered apology.

"It's fine," Yiren assured her with a bright smile. The girl looked a bit startled, probably due to Yiren's brightness so early in the morning. She was pretty, naturally, that was what had made her popular, back when she was Sihyeon's friend.

"Aisha," Called a voice, and Yiren looked over her shoulder to see another girl with short blonde hair and a cold gaze, watching their interaction.

Aisha looked back at Yiren and nodded awkwardly, then hurrying off in the girl's direction.

She's so my type. Yiren thought dreamily, looking at this new blonde who looked a lot like she was chastising Aisha now. Her face seemed so mature, and if Yiren wasn't mistaken she seemed very athletic. Maybe the girl played sports, Yiren definitely wouldn't mind seeing her in a soccer jersey.

Just as another piece of paper hit her head, she remembered. I'm in South Korea. The girl probably doesn't think of me like that.

It wasn't the end of the world or anything. Yiren had much bigger problems than beautiful girls, namely the fact that Sihyeon and her mindless friends still thought that tormenting her was the joy of their lives.

Yiren looked down at her lap, digging her nails into her palms. She didn't want to walk home again and be cornered by them, have them say all sorts of nasty things to her. Sometimes they'd hit her, sometimes they'd take her bag or her shoes. Sihyeon did whatever she thought Yiren deserved, and Yerin knew she believed that a person like Yiren didn't deserve mercy.

Breathe in, breathe out. She reminded herself, unclenching her fingers. Her palms were scarred by little half moons that left red marks in her skin. The only consistent sign of her pain, not that anyone cared. She was fine, by herself. She'd be okay. Yiren always was.

The school day had its perks. Class meant there was less of Sihyeon's threats and Yiren could take her mind off how she felt. She could pour herself into her studies and stay focused on the present. It wasn't until after school that she had to be worried again.