Behind Closed Doors

2. Clive Davis

"If time stands still, move I will to you.
If this was filmed, somehow I'd see you.
Move I will to you."
-"Stand Still," ZAYN

***

Zayn's manager, Sarah, decided he should attend the Pre-Grammy, Clive Davis Gala, telling him it will be a high profile party full of potential collaborators. It would be his opportunity to network with individuals from the academy, which was important if one wanted to get Grammy recognition for their music.

Normally, this is the kind of thing he avoids at all cost but due to the pressure he is under to see his new music succeed, he agrees to go, no questions asked. He will be attending alone, with only Sarah.

Gigi has been busy with her own hectic schedule, and Zayn is relieved. It's not that he doesn't enjoy her company but he feels this is something he needs to do on his own. His last wish would be for any of his future success to be because of something his girlfriend said or did. Zayn felt he needed to do this all on his own and without feeling like he owed any favors to anyone.

The party would be held at the Beverly Hills hotel, convenient for Zayn, as he had been spending most of his time in his LA home in Bel Air.

Zayn got a house in LA after leaving the band, mostly because it seemed like the obvious thing to do. Everyone who was anyone had a house in LA, and despite Zayn's overall disinterest with the city, he followed suit. It also helped with his relationship to Gigi, who was a true American girl. Though she preferred New York, Gigi was beyond pleased with Zayn for buying a place in the states.

LA had always been more of HIS thing, not Zayn's. Zayn was a homebody and enjoyed the familiarity of Bradford, England. There was a time long ago when that city was all he knew. London was then an unfamiliar weekend trip the family would take from time to time. These days however, the entire UK was a Godsend. Anywhere. He didn't even care if it was Scotland. It still felt more "home," to him than Los Angeles. Yet, here he is, about to be forced to lose his pride and suck the industry's dick for some recognition.

He remembers when he caught wind of HIM buying a home in LA not long ago. HE was now only a short 30 minute drive away from Zayn and he'd be lying if that didn't send his heart racing. Yet, the initial excitement dissipated as still no word reached him. No email, no text, no word from a mutual friend, no postcard, nothing. The only change that came since HE moved to LA was Zayns dream patterns.

Zayn had been having dreams every night for the past month of the two of them reuniting. The dreams varied as to where and how. Sometimes they crossed paths walking on the street, bumping into one another followed by a warm embrace which gave Zayn that familiar feeling of home.

His favorite dreams were the more dramatic ones. In these, HE would show up at Zayn's doorstep. Before Zayn could say anything, HE would pin Zayn against the wall enveloping him in a long passionate kiss that never ended until they were on the floor with no clothes on.

Other times it wasn't so pleasant.
Zayn would be at a party and they'd make eyes from across the room but HE would refuse to approach Zayn. When Zayn would walk up to HIM, he would be met with fists and "I hate you's." These weren't fun to have but were also the most unrealistic. His lover was not a man of violence, no matter how angry he became he would never dare to actually hit Zayn violently.

The worst dreams were those that felt painfully realistic and left Zayn alone and fighting tears come morning. In these dreams, Zayn would reach out to HIM and HE would come across with indifference. They'd meet someplace to catch up only for Zayn to view his lovers green eyes as emotionless. He wasn't loving, hurt or even angry in these dreams. He simply was completely over Zayn and that hurt the most.