Behind Closed Doors

36. Heartache

Once upon a time I was falling in love
Now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler

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November 2012

Harry'd begun dating Taylor publicly back in October causing a slight halt to he and Zayn's, "activities." Zayn had been hurt but didn't let it show when Harry told him they needed to stop for a while so that he could give Taylor 100%. It was only fair and Zayn couldn't argue with it. Instead, he focused on working towards the release of their next album.

Luckily, the two boys were able to maintain their friendship. Zayn was happy to have Harry as a mate and it only made their bond stronger, knowing they could still get on as friends and be there for each other unconditionally, all they had to do was keep their hands to themselves. Zayn made sure not to cross the line but it was admittedly hard at times.

The past couple of weeks specifically, seemed to be the hardest and Zayn could swear Harry had been leaving hints that he wanted him to make a move. It was enough to make the brown eyed boy crazy as he tried his best to read Harry. The familiar tension had begun to rise again between the two whenever they were in each other's presence.

Zayn became lost in his thoughts as he recalled the weeks events leading up to him currently smoking his lungs away as tears flooded his eyes while alone in his London home.

*****

The boys had went to the states a week ago to promote the album. They had some interviews, a couple performances at the US XFactor and The Today show, lined up. Their single, Little Things, had been a massive success in the UK, topping the charts. Hopefully with the help of their promotional activity, they could achieve the same success in the US. If you could make it in the US you could make it anywhere really, and a second album is always stressful when the first was a massive sellout.

The first time Zayn had begun to question Harry's motives was during their flight to Los Angeles. Harry had insisted and actually ordered Liam to get up and move to a different seat so that he could sit beside Zayn. Not wanting to fight, Liam had done it, though reluctantly, and Harry gave Zayn a wink once it was just the two of them. Unsure of how to react, Zayn had simply asked Harry what all that was about.

"Your shoulder is the best to sleep on." Was Harry's reply, therefore, Zayn dropped it.

Three quarters of the flight in, Zayn was awakened by Harry's breath on his neck and a hand placed far too close to his nether regions for comfort. He turned to see Harry's face and to gauge what he wanted, but Harry appeared to be asleep. Zayn could've sworn he was just kissing his neck before he'd awoken fully but again, let it slide and tried to fall back asleep.

The second time Harry acted questionably was on their way to the hotel after the XFactor performance in LA. He, Harry, their manager Paul, and Louis were in one car together. Zayn went for the backseat, quickly followed by Harry. Their adrenaline was heightened from the performance which is why Zayn told himself not to think too hard about the fact that Harry was being extremely handsy.

Holding Zayn's hand as they both talked giddily, hugging his waist multiple times and practically sitting on his lap as he sprung a leg over Zayn's to face him while talking... Not to mention he kept looking at Zayn's lips as the latter spoke while biting his own.

It excited Zayn to the point where he found himself checking and rechecking his phone for a text from Harry to meet up, but was left to fall asleep disappointed in his shared hotel room with Louis.