Behind Closed Doors

3. Realization

"And I've, been tryin so hard not to make an excuse just to call you tonight.
Forgetting my heart hurts a little but more when I look in your eyes.
You're all that I want but, it's breaking me apart, of me will always just be waiting.
For you to come to me all on your own. Without me telling you what you should know."
-"Remember the Mornings," Clinton Kane

***
Harry Styles.
Harry on most days.
Harold when Zayn felt like teasing Harry.
Haz or Hazza when Zayn was talking to him in an intimate yet friendly manner.
Curly when he was looking cute.
Styles when Zayn was feeling annoyed with the lad but not in a serious way.
Babe after they started touching each other the way friends DO NOT touch.
Baby when Zayn was inside Harry or needed to sweet talk him.
Love when Zayn couldn't help but adore him.
Sexy when Harry needed reassurance that Zayn desired him.
Beautiful during pillow talk.

It's been 3 days since Clive Davis and still no word from Harry. Zayn isn't sure what exactly he'd expected but it wasn't this. Seeing Harry again was a blessing and a curse.
On the positive side, he looked fuckin amazing. Gorgeous as ever and Healthy, Zayn was happy to see. It was what Zayn had been hoping for. He'd gotten to see him, live and in the flesh. The powers that be answered his hearts deepest desire, to see him just one more time. How foolish he was to think one glance would suffice.

Zayn felt he and Harry had cursed one another long ago, with no anecdote known to man. They'd go into their graves with the curse. Despite this knowledge, he came to terms with this idea long ago, knowing he would never be alone. Now, it seemed Harry had found some way of coping during their time apart. Harry used to be so weak for Zayn. He couldn't stay away too long. But Harry seemed to no longer need Zayn as he once had. It made Zayn incredibly jealous and annoyingly, he was now even more attracted to the lad.

On the other hand, it felt as if the curse had spread and become entirely insufferable after seeing Harry 3 days ago. As he lay awake that morning he remembered a time when he and Harry would have comfortable, deep conversations with one another during the mornings spent in bed. They shared things with one another they wouldn't dare share with another soul and in turn, found peace in each other.
Their best days had been spent together in bed all day being lazy.

Zayn began to drift off to sleep as an old memory began making its way to his brain in the form of a very vivid dream.

***

Memory: November 2014

The boys were still touring at this time (when were they not touring?) but were given a couple free days to do as they pleased before preparing for Band Aid 2014. They were blessed to even be considered as candidates to join the event.

Harry and Zayn spent the previous evening in Zayn's hotel room and had only gotten 4 hours of sleep. The two of them had been fighting a lot lately. It seemed like every time they weren't having sex they were at each others throats, fighting. So they had spent most the night having makeup sex again, and again, and again.

Zayn woke up feeling incredibly sore, his entire body was spent. He turned to lay on his side and began admiring the beautiful creature in front of him. Harry lay sleeping on his stomach, snoring ever so slightly, his lions mane scattered across the pillow with some strands covering his face. Zayn felt he was getting cheated from a perfect view, and reached out to move the hair away from Harrys face.