I Love You But...

xvi

The visitors, even those who I'm not familiar with, are greeting and telling me that they are happy for the two of us. Jimmy's parents are joyful that I accepted their son's proposal. His mother, my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, told me that they are only waiting for Jimmy to do this. They know that one day, their son will ask me that question. It is also a surprise to them that Jimmy decided to propose on his birthday, he never told them about it. So, my soon-to-be-husband will fill our marriage with surprises. Whatever kind of surprises it will be.

After a couple of friends left the party, Al whispered that I should meet him outside. Is there something we have to talk about? I have to know. I have to hear what he's about to say.

"What do you want to talk about? It seems important that you even asked me to go outside with you."

"It is important... I might not have another chance to tell this to you." He looks serious.

"What is it?" Are you going to make me change my mind?

"You know, Jamie..." He's repressing. "Jamie," he inhaled and exhaled loudly. I'm looking at him, waiting intently for what he needs to tell, "you know... Jimmy is a good guy, and he's like a brother to me. Please take care of him. I also need to go, I have an event tomorrow." He squeezed my shoulder and began walking away from me. I felt that he's going to tell me something more than that.

I want to run after him. He said that he might not have another chance to tell me the important thing he's going to say. I don't know, but I can feel that it's not about Jimmy. What if he's about to admit that he also had feelings for me? I should stop assuming. Just because I fell in love with him doesn't mean that he had also fallen for me. Part of me wants to go after him, and there's this part of me that wants to stay where I'm standing, watching him as he walks farther.

I chose the latter. I already made my decision earlier, and it will be wrong if I will still pursue my feelings for Al.