I Love You But...

v

I asked him out for lunch, but it's not a date. Until now, I haven't pictured how he will react to this. I'm not a clairvoyant to know it.

He walked into the diner, and he's obviously looking for me.
"Hey Al, over here." I waved.
"Thanks for asking me out." He said politely. He's a gentleman like my boyfriend, which is impressive.
"I have something to tell you, but let's eat first... and don't worry, it's not bad news."

I saw his lips curled up while we're eating. It's like he's suppressing a smile. I wiped my face; maybe he's just shy to tell me that there's dirt. Before it slips my mind, I have to tell him my news.
"Hey Al, there's a contest for wedding singers. Have you heard of it?" I told him in a hint-giving manner.
"Contest for wedding singers? It is my first time to hear such a thing." He said nonchalantly.
"Interesting. Uhm... Actually - "
"I don't know if I can join that." He said before I can finish my sentence.
"I already submitted your application." I have no choice but to say it. What a waste if he cannot make it.
"You gotta be kidding me." I do not know if he's astounded or he's suppressing his anger. Uh-oh. I should explain myself.
"No, Mr. Alexander. I filled up the application form for you. Any events coordinator with a valid ID can file an application as a proxy."
"You are joking." He still doesn't want to believe me.
"I'm not. In fact, here's the evidence." I showed him the picture of the application form.
"This is nuts."
"Come on, Al. Don't chicken out. You're one of the best voices I've ever heard. That's why I keep on taking you with me on events, especially weddings." I hope I was able to justify my side.
"Thanks for the encouragement, but I think I have to go." He said without looking back. I think I made him angry. Is it wrong if I did this for him?

"Hi babe. I'm sorry if I made you wait." I'm not aware that my boyfriend arrived already. Parks are really spacious; people just appear in your sight.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Architect. It's okay. I'm not angry."
We walk around the park before we find someplace to eat. My mind still thinks of Al and the conversation we had.
"Jamie, are you okay? Is something bothering you?" That's Jimmy - smart, perceptive and handsome. I'm lucky to have him.
"Uhm... Yeah. Sort of. Can we sit somewhere so I can tell you?"
We sat on the grass area. I told him that I filed an application for my wedding singer to join a contest, and my wedding singer happened to be upset or angry or doesn't want to join that contest, as it seems.
"Pfft..." He tried to suppress his laughter but gave in eventually. He laughed like I cracked the funniest joke on Earth.
"Babe, why are you laughing?" I'm having the urge to hit him with my bag if he doesn't stop.
"Sorry, babe. I did not really intend to laugh, but seeing your cute expression while narrating, I can't control myself. Sorry." He still chuckles.
"Jimmy..."
"Okay. I will stop. But tell me what I should say."
"Can you give me a male perspective of the situation? A male opinion?"
He paused to think like he usually does, and I know that it will not be a nonsensical answer. "Jamie, you are an events coordinator, or others call it events planner. So, in your job, what do you do?"
"Planning. For example, if it's a garden wedding, I ask the clients where do they want it to be. I select different venues and inform them about the cost of renting the place, and I also arrange services like catering and so on. But it still depends on their approval."
He smiled. "That's it. You plan, yet you still seek your client's approval. In this case, were you able to ask him? Is he part of the plan?"
"Oh, my." I realized it's my mistake. "I decided on it myself, and I did not ask him if he wants to."
"You got him by surprise. He is upset because you cracked that news to him without informing him beforehand. He's like a client whom you never sought approval."
"Then what should I do?"
"First, let him cool down. Give him time to think. It could help him clear up his mind. After that, if you think you have given him enough time, talk to him. Call him or meet him in person, so you can explain yourself."
I sighed. "Thank you, babe. I will not understand men without you."
"You're always welcome. Perhaps we can go somewhere to eat. I might laugh if I see that cute expression on your face again."

It is evening already when Jimmy dropped me home. Of course, he never leaves without a kiss. That's what couples do, right? They kiss before they depart.

I slouched on the sofa and placed my bag beside me. My phone slid from my bag. I took it and noticed that I had missed calls from Al an hour ago. I think it's time that I talk to him.
Ring... ring... ring... And he picked up.
"Hi Al. You were calling earlier. I was with my boyfriend until half an hour ago."
"I'm sorry, Jamie. I walked out earlier."
"I can understand you were just surprised. I also told my boyfriend about it. He said that you were upset because I cracked the news out of the blue. I should have informed you beforehand."
"Jamie, you see, the last time I joined a contest was in high school. I - "
"Al, I believe in your ability. There's no room for doubt."
"Okay... If I join, will you be there for me?"
"Sure. I will watch you. I didn't file your application just to leave you alone. I will cheer from the audience."
"Thanks. I will do my best."