I Love You But...

xvii

It is funny that I am an events planner, and now, I have to plan everything for my wedding. We decided that it will be in two years. We're not in a hurry, though. Jimmy doesn't want to let go of me, and I don't want to be separated from him either. That's the engagement story.

For now, I have to start laying out my plans. There are lots of choices to make: from the church, the reception, motif, invitation format, gown designer, and so on. Jimmy and I have to agree on whatever will be the choice. But there's one that I know the both of us will agree upon: the wedding singer. It will be his best friend, Al. I've always liked to hear him sing, and for sure, Jimmy would like him to have that role too, aside from being his best man.

I am standing outside his house, waiting for him. I know I should have called, but I want to see him personally before I go to Jimmy. I want to talk to him and bid goodbye to whatever I felt for him. I know it's not easy, but I have to.

"Hey Jamie. How long have you been waiting here? You should have called." He said when he arrived.

"It's okay, Al. I didn't wait that long. I want to talk to you before I go to Jimmy." I have to compose myself. I'm not here to flirt.

"You wanna talk to me?" He wonders for no reason. "Anyway, let's go inside first. I hope you don't mind, my house is small and not so presentable."

"No, here is okay. I just want to ask you a favor." Breathe in, breathe out. Calm down.

"What is it, Jamie?"

"Al, will you sing at my wedding?" Please.

"Yes, like I promised you before."

"Actually, there's this song... do you know Amazed? Duncan James' version? I've always wanted someone to sing it for me. Can you do the honor?"

"Of course. If that's what you wish."

"Oh, Al... Thank you." I smiled the biggest smile I can make because I do not know what else to say.

I never looked back when I headed my way to Jimmy's. He might be watching me, and I might run to him if our eyes meet. I have to cut off this feeling; the love I had for him will diminish through time. I can do it because I have Jimmy. Yes, I chose Jimmy.

Al, every step I take makes me far from you, but it's for our own good. I have to leave my feelings for you behind. I love you, but you never knew. It's better that way. It's better that you never knew. I will move on with my life, and soon it will be my life with Jimmy. Still, I want to thank you. I want to thank you because you made me realize that I'm weak, that I needed someone to be with me. That's Jimmy, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because of you, I realized that I failed to see him the way he is: a selfless man who works hard for my sake. I want to thank you because I worked harder since I met you. Maybe, just maybe, you came into my life to make me understand what I fail to do. Thank you, Al. Thank you.