Lilith's Lucifer

Chapter 10.

Manik Malhotra's POV-

I tried my best to keep an eye contact with dad but eventually couldn't meet his eyes. I took a moment while scratching my jaw to think about how to begin with this sensitive topic and explain him properly without having him hurt. The pressure of thought process as well as the fear I had for him and his strictness didn't help me well to prepare my monologue. Ultimately, I decided to talk whatever comes to my mind on the spot.

"Dad, I never had any intentions to hurt you or mom! Mom you know I love you both right?" I asked, knowing that she was listening to me on the other side. To my given silence,I heard a faint 'yes' from her for my own confirmation. My legs still kept tapping the floor in nervousness which thankfully wasn't visible to them. Darn it! I wasn't even nearly in this state while all those interviews I gave. Quite an amusing thing my dad haunts me more than my boss. Focus Manik! Focus! Why am I getting a sudden urge of stupid sarcasm right now? Have some seriousness!!

Clearing my throat and shrugging those thoughts I continued to give an attempt to defend myself

"I know you love all of us, whether you don't put it on your sleeves but I know deep down we all mean a lot to you dad. I have seen you being protective of me since my birth. You never let me or mom wander without atleast one man by our side for our safety in your absence. Even I did schooling by having a guard waiting at a gate for me but dad in your over protectiveness you forgot to think how it would affect me or my social life. I never made genuine friends as they used to think differently of me rather than their own classmate. I have had been friends with the children of your colleagues because they matched our status. I chose friends per your choice,clothes per your choice,toys per your choice even my diet per your choice almost everything as per your choice. It made me happy because it made you happy,until I was 16 but later while growing up I realised this was going all wrong. I was living according to you,my whole identity till then was whom you want to see me as! Not who I actually wanted to be.

Grandpa made me realise that if this will run for a long then I will lose the ability to make my own choices in my life. I wouldn't be able to survive on my own if ever my world crumbles down my feet. If I let this happen then I will catch a habit of getting everything for free,I might not taste the success with a sweat of efforts. He enlightened me that even for my smallest need I will keep being dependent on you. I completely understand you were doing everything in your power just to give me a best life but subsequently you were unaware of the fact that your this behaviour was rather turning me indecisive. I had to put it a stop somehow. It's not like what me and my grandparents decided was in a haste. We gave it a thought before it's application. We didn't have intentions to keep you both in dark but along with it we also calculated the consequences of telling you both. With all our aftermath we came to an conclusion that telling you both will be risky because there wasn't a chance you were going to agree with it. Grandpa even said that at some point you might understand me but the chances were still thin. Yet he's not the reason neither was granny,it's been me because I was the one who was scared of confronting you. I was scared of your wrath. I believe the way I handled the situation was wrong but it was the very first decision I took for myself and for that granny said she's proud of me. It encouraged me to not to step back and go with a flow. I want you to understand me this once,that I am a big guy now and I need to learn surviving on my own. I got this feeling that not even girls are bound to these many restrictions,the amount I was imported with and for that I hate to admit L.A. was certainly like my cage and I needed a breakthrough. I am not saying you are wrong,infact no body is wrong in this. We all are correct at our own places but we need a little understanding here. I hope you are getting what I mean dad?" I spoke my heart out in one go to finally leave a decision over him. I was still sceptic about 'what he'll say?'