guns and roses | h. sanzu

special chapter 3 : rings and scars

sanzu's pov

my world starts to turn around as i keep walking down the busy streets of the city.

"sanzu, don't starve yourself." said mucho that was walking beside me.

i've been starving myself for a long time just to buy a ring for a girl that i met once. what the hell is wrong with me? what is love at first sight? that exist? i don't know.

"i really want to buy a ring." i said in a whisper tone, a ring for her.

mucho left and went home, i told him i could handle my own but the truth is my body feels weak. i do have a family but i'm not really close with them and i prefer living alone.

my eyes roamed around the place and found a jewelry shop. when i was about to enter the shop the bodyguard pushed me making me fall on my back.

"you monster! what are you planning to do?! rob this shop?" he shouted as i try my best to get up but failed.

my body feels weak.. monster? is it because of my scars?

"i want to buy a ring.." my back started hurting from the impact of the fall. again, i tried to stand up but i almost fell again.

everyone in the jewelry shop went out looking at me with disgusting face.

"ring? do you even have enough money for that? you look like a stray cat on the streets!"

"what's with those scars? you look like a monster!"

"a ring you say? you think a lady would marry someone like you?!"

i was about to walk away ignoring the words they're saying but they started to throw random things at me. after running away from them i stayed behind an abandoned building to rest. my world is spinning around and i can feel my stomach rumbling from hunger.

you look like a monster!

you think a lady would marry someone like you?!

do you even have enough money?!

the ground was cold but why does it give me comfort? a minute passed by until i realized hot tears were streaming down my face. i didn't move an inch, i stayed on the ground as i let the dark and lonely place surround me.

i tried buying a ring for different shops but everything remained the same. i stood outside another jewelry shop as i stare at the beautiful gold ring. it had a rose design on it and a little diamond on the middle.

i can feel my heart beating fast, just imagining her wearing it makes me happy but i'm sure she won't be receiving this ring.

my hands clenched the face mask i'm holding as i wear it around me. this time i dressed up nicely, wearing proper clothes, styling my hair in a different way, and covering my scars.

the first jewelry shop traumatized me, i know my scars were disgusting, i know i look like a monster, and i know i don't have enough money but why rub it on me?

my body hesitated to enter the place, the people weren't paying much attention to me and maybe it's because i covered my scars and made myself presentable.

"hello young man! what are you looking for?" it was a old woman and she looked kind.

"i'm l-looking for a ring.." my voice trembled not used to being treated nicely.

"i saw you looking out the window a while ago, do you perhaps like this ring?" she showed me the rose ring and my eyes widened seeing how beautiful it is up close.

"yes, how much?" after she said the price my excitement dropped. the money i saved isn't enough, what should i do?

the old woman in front of me smiled, packed the ring, and gave it to me. i refused to accept it since i haven't bought it yet and i don't have enough money.

"i'm not rich enough to buy that ring, i'm not gonna take it." she reached out her hand handing me the small paper bag.

"it's for her right? i'm giving this to you because i noticed how your eyes showed so much love when you saw this ring."

"accept this gift, give it to her and come back to me when she answered yes."

i wish she's my mom, my eyes became soft as i exchanged smiles with her. that's right, not many people in this world are kind but there are still some people like her after all.

the old woman never really knew about the story why i wanted to buy a ring but the way she talked, it's as if she knew what my heart felt and i'll never forget what she told me before i left the shop.

years after, i visited the first jewelry shop i went to before. the employees never changed, even the people who judged me back then.

"good morning sir! how can i help you?" my eyes glared at the employee beside me. ah~ it's the woman who told me i look like a monster.

"what do you do for a living sir? you look rich!" my lips formed a smirk beside. aren't you the one who told me i didn't have enough money?

"are you looking for a ring? i'm sure you have a wife! i mean who wouldn't marry someone like you!" my hands clenched remembering what happened the first time i visited here. you told me no lady would want to marry me and you're saying this now?

my loving wife might hate what i'll do but my blood still boils seeing them alive after they ruined me mentally.

"rich? i'm not rich, i am wealthy!" i stepped out the shop as i slowly pull my mask down and a wave of satisfaction filled my body after seeing their reactions.

"do you still remember me? of course you do! after all i'm a monster!"

my feet stepped on my car, i made my way on the top and sat there while the other bonten members were beside me wanted to see the show.

in a snap of my finger the shop exploded burning every walls, every jewelries, and every person inside of it. as the shop continued to burn my eyes close as i remember the old woman words.

"i'm sure one day you're going to meet a woman who'll love you for who you are even with those scars."

my eyes fluttered open as my lips formed into a smile.

"i love your scars and they're beautiful to me, haru." both of us were laying on the sand of the beach as i feel her fingers touch my scars softly on the side of my lips.

"your scars are beautiful, daddy!" harumi said as she jumped to hug me.

"i'd like to kiss your scars every night just to let you know i love your courage and strength for wearing them."

atticus said, we all wear scars find someone who makes yours feel beautiful. i found them, my loving wife and my precious daughter.