Our life is so messed up - DabiHawks Fanfic

Chapter 23 - Hawks POV

YEH I KNOW ANOTHER CHAPTER IN HAWKS POV BUT BEAR WITH ME OK I JUST DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE DABI BE DOING

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I'm sick of this. House arrest. It's like I can't do anything by myself. There are people constantly watching over the house (well it's got no stairs so a bungalow) and even cameras have been placed in all the rooms to monitor what I'm doing (except the bathroom of course, you don't want to know what I do in there). I have to be taken by people wherever I go so that I don't try anything stupid.

I also have to wear some sort of anklet which has a GPS tracker and alarm. The alarm doesn't sound on my side, only flashes red so that the wearer doesn't know he's been found out (if an attempt to escape is made) but it does alert the people with the GPS and all that, the tracker is also live so that they know exactly where I am at all times.

Instead of having my phone given back to me I've had to use a bloody transmitter and receiver like what they had in the 1900s or whenever the fuck they were made.

And it's not even my house! It's just some private establishment for people like me.

When they took me here I was given a suitcase full of clothes and I changed instantly, grateful to get out of my stained trousers.
Such a relief to have clean clothes.

I got a shower too since I haven't washed myself for the last...6 days? So that means...only one fucking week has passed since Dabi came over to mine and shit started happening.

Wow.

I step out of the shower, smelling delicious (but not as delicious as chicken), and go over to the bedroom where the suitcase is to get out some clothes. I remember when I was clothing Dabi and he didn't like my yellow hoody, but there is a possibility he's still wearing it at this very moment.

Standing in front of the large mirrors as I put on a oversized, long-sleeved shirt, I study myself.

It's like a hallucination or something - Dabi is behind me, whispering enticing things in my ear. My face turns red at my impure thoughts and I spin around, panicking that he actually is there but he isn't, obviously.

It's all in my head.
My imagination.
My mind always goes back to Dabi...and that night. I hated that. Kind of. Mostly.

I think I would have actually enjoyed it if I had agreed to it. But whenever I am reminded of it I feel bitter with anger and resentment and want to go cry in a corner.

Fuck feelings.

But Dabi raped me.

No. I shake my head to clear the thought. Stop getting worked up about that, it won't ever happen again, I tell myself.

I sprawl on the sofa, stretching out my huge-ass wings because I haven't done so in a long time, adjusting them and becoming slightly irritated at not being able to get comfortable.

Sometimes I think my wings are too big for me. Why can't they be smaller and just have the magic of quirks do its thing, letting me fly with them.

Finally I get comfortable, head laid back, wings fanned out on either side and my legs spread out, thinking of Dabi and then...shit.

I suddenly hug my knees because I feel unsafe. Like Dabi is gonna get on top of me...and...ugh. I can't live like this.

There's nothing to do, so I go to every single mirror in the house and turn them all around, not wanting to see my pitiful reflection.
For the big mirror in the bedroom I cover it with a blanket.