The shadow Hunter

chapter 13

I lay on the bed in the room Tony had given me. I stared at the ceiling feeling empty again.  I lay there for an hour before a knock at the door startled me and jolted me up. The door opened slowly and behind it stood Tony not quite able to look at me. I didn't look at him either, i stared at the ceiling. "Everyone's gone. There is food in the kitchen if your hungry." He said. "I'm not hungry." I told him, which was a lie. Tony sighed but didn't shut the door like i expected him too. "Pepper would like you to eat dinner with us." He insisted. I rolled my eyes and stood up, following him out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen. I was feeling quite hungry in fairness. Pepper sat at the dining table with three place settings and three bowls of pasta. "Hello Clara." She smiled widely and i could tell she was trying way too hard to welcome me. "Alena." I corrected her. My name didn't sound right in any one elses voice now I had heard Pietro say it.  I sat down awkwardly at the table and picked up my fork. I took a bite of the pasta and i hated to admit it tasted really good after the past year of plain porridge. A few minutes of silence went by before Pepper spoke. "I'm not going to lie, it was a bit of a shock but now that Tony has explained everything, we will work something out." She said. I could tell she was annoyed at Tony for not telling her. "Do you have any belongings?" She asked. I shook my head. "Well after dinner you can borrow some of my clothes to change into and tomorrow i can go and buy you clothes and what ever you need." Pepper was being really polite but that didn't make me trust her yet.

"So i'm staying then?" I questioned. "Well of course, where else are you going to go?" Pepper told me. I shrugged. "I always find somewhere." I told them. "You staying here." Tony stated. They were trying to ignore it, but the awkwardness hung in the air like over powering perfume. I wasn't meant to be here, i didn't fit in with their life and i didn't understand why Tony didn't just let me go.  "Erm, i'm gonna go back to my room." I muttered, standing from the table. "Thanks for the dinner." I mumbled as i walked towards the stairs. "Oh no problem sweetie." Pepper called after me. I disappeared up the stairs but i didn't go to my room. I stood in the hallway and listened to Pepper and Tony's voices downstairs. "She's going to stay Tony! You are not going to abandon that poor girl again." Pepper said in a hushed voice. "I'm not suggesting that, but how is any of this going to work. I have known her for two days and now she is moving in with us and we are buying her stuff?" Pepper huffed. "Yes because that's what a dad does Tony!" She exclaimed. "She's a stranger!" He exclaimed. Pepper sighed wearily. "So get to know her Tony."

I crept back to the room, careful not to be heard. I lay on my bed again. My head was spinning and my mind buzzing too much. Everything was happening too fast. I wish everything could go back to how it was before. When i didn't know Tony, when i didn't know any of them. Before this new dysfunctional family that clearly wasn't a family because i don't have a family, never had, never will. When Pietro was with me because the only person i wanted to talk to wasn't here.

 Someone knocked at my door and waited for me to invite them in. When i didn't, she invited herself in anyway. Pepper nervously opened the door holding a stack of clothes and towels and toiletries. "I brought you some change of clothes and a towel, shampoo and shower gel in case you wanted to have a shower." Pepper said, placing the things down on the dresser. "Thanks." I mumbled. "The shower is a bit complicated, the screen on the wall, just tap it to activate Friday and you can set your temperature and pressure." Pepper started to leave but lingered by the door. 

"Clara." I didn't bother to correct her a second time. "Don't feel like your intruding. Your part of the family and everything will be worked out. If you need anything, just ask us." I sat up slightly. Why did she think we were all automatically family now? Tony wasn't my dad and she definitely wasn't my mum.  "Can i see Wanda?" I asked. I hadn't talked to Wanda since the fight in Sokovia and i really needed to talk to her. "Oh, Wanda was taken back to avenger's head quarters, to live with the others. But i'm sure we can take you to see her once everything is sorted." Pepper said, waiting for a second before leaving. Tony and Pepper kept on saying they were going to work it out like this wasn't some big hit to their lives and rather just a small change in course. But this couldn't be worked out- I couldn't be fitted in.

 I grabbed the towel and toiletries  and went to the bathroom. I set the things down on the counter and pulled off the clothes i was wearing. I had half a mind to burn the clothes, never wanting to be reminded of these events again but of course that would never happen. They smelt of smoke, destruction. But underneath, i could still smell the lingering smell of Pietro. His soft scent that reminded me of gentleness.  I shoved them into the back of my wardrobe. The shower space was gigantic and the shower head was a big over head rain shower. I tapped the screen on the wall and jumped slightly when a calm female voice filled the room. "Good evening, Please set your preferred temperature." the voice said calmly. On the screen, had popped up a icon of a thermometer and a scale from 1 to 10. 

I pressed 10. "Please select your desired pressure." the voice said in a lofty manor. The icon changed to a picture of a raindrop and the same scale. I pressed 10 again. "Enjoy your shower." it said. The water was boiling and hit my skin like bullets. I stood underneath the rain shower and looked up so the water hit my face. It didn't take long for the heat to make my skin red and numb and my head foggy and dizzy. I pressed the screen again, swiping to the left twice until it reached the on and off page. I turned the shower off and stepped out, grabbing the towel and drying my self.  I pulled on the clothes pepper had given me. They were a pair of sweats and an old band tee. It was faded but i could make out the band name at the top, 'Black Sabbath'. I walked back into the bedroom. The sun had set outside and the room was now dark, only lit by the lights from the buildings outside. I looked around for a light switch but only found another screen like the one in the shower. I tapped it and Fridays voice filled the room again. "Good evening." She said in a soothing voice. 5 options were displayed on the screen; Blinds, lights, doors, tv and windows. I clicked on blinds and the screen changed. There was another slider like the pressure and temperature one. I slide the slider along the scale and watched as the blinds began to close. 

I exited blinds and tapped on lights. The screen changed again. 4 lightbulb icons displayed each one labelled. Bathroom, Bed, room and closet. I tapped on bathroom first, turning the light off and then on room and bed. The lights flickered off and i stood in darkness. I made my way to the bed, pulled back the covers and crawled inside. 

I lay in bed but i wouldn't sleep. I couldn't. Or at least i wouldn't try. I let the sadness swallow me. The tears came unexpectantly and I wiped them away vigorously. In the red room, I had been manufactured into a robot, a machine to kill- if you cried you were weak, if you felt anything at all, you were useless. I had lost the person who had taught me to feel again and I cursed him now. Because now I felt everything. I felt his loss like he was my limb. I turned over on my side, staring into the darkness. He was just a boy. It didn't matter that he is gone. I told my self these lies over and over again. But he was more than a boy. Pietro was kind and loyal. He was brave and strong. Dreykov had put a gun in my hand and took away everything I was. Pietro reminded me what it felt like to be human. He was the boy i....no. I wouldn't let my self even think it because what was the use in saying it now. It would only make me regret. I didn't even have a picture of him. All i had was the memory of him etched into my mind.