The shadow Hunter

Chapter 28

I sat on the bench opposite Pietro's grave, my eyes no longer capable of crying, none of me was capable of doing anything anymore. The pills were making me feel like i was drifting but maybe i was just dying. I felt blank. I stared at his headstone with no expression, no emotion, i couldn't feel. My wish had been granted. It was as if I had turned off the switch he had helped me turn on- I had gone back to what I was like before HYDRA, before I felt anything. But when you try not to feel, you end up feeling everything. It was a paradox, I was a paradox. I thought of my dream, i had never seen my self as a wife or a mother, but it felt right when it was with him. He was mine and i was his. I thought of that brief night in the HYDRA base when we had daydreamed about our future. For one small moment, i got to see it...but it wasn't real. I wondered what he would say to me if he was here right now. Well to start with, i wouldn't be here, we would probably be somewhere, anywhere, it didn't matter as long as we were together. He would tell me he loved me and i would tell him i loved him more. I drowned in the words we had never got to say.

The noise around me was muffled and I felt like I was being held underwater. I heard distance shouts behind me and it wasn't until he was right in front of me, grabbing onto my shoulders, that I realized it was my name being shouted and it was Tony shouting it.  I stood up slowly, feeling disorientated and my hands shaking. He wrapped his arms around me like he would never let go and I don't think I wanted him to. Tony may have been a crap dad before, he may have not chosen me before, but he was now. I didn't care anymore- not when I felt so little and so much. "Clara. Don't you ever do that again." He declared, not even noticing he was using my real name. "I'm sorry." I muttered into his shoulder. "I just didn't know what else I could do." I whispered. "I know, i know." He muttered back. "I love you." There was no hesitation in his words, no pause and that's how i knew he meant it. "I love you too dad." I said back. He pulled me away from his shoulder and looked into my face. "You just called me-" He didn't even finish his sentence, he was too hasty to pull me into a hug again. 

Suddenly, he seemed to remember why we were here. "You need an ambulance." He stated, sitting me down on the bench and pulling out his phone. "No, i'm fine, i only took some." I told him. He furrowed his brows. "How many?" He asked. "12." I muttered. "Then why was the box empty?" He asked. i averted eye contact. "Clara" He said sternly. "I've been taking them over the past couple months." I told him. He urgently dialed 911. Behind me, besides the people staring and whispering, i noticed Wanda and Nat walking up to us. Wanda was crying and a few tears clung to Natasha's eyelashes. "yes, we have found her Steve, she was at his grave. Tony's calling an ambulance." Nat said on the phone. Had they all been out looking for me? "I need an ambulance now. My 17 year old daughter has possibly over dosed." He rushed his words with urgency. He didn't even have time to think about the fact he had just called me his daughter in public. He didn't seem to care that it would be probably be all over the tabloids by tomorrow morning. But despite the fact i hadn't thought Tony would ever feel like my dad, when he called me that, his daughter, i felt safe and assured. Wanda sobbed. I stood up and she folded her arms around me. Tony hung up the phone. "They will be here in 5 minutes." He said. 

"How are you feeling?" They all asked at the same time. I didn't know how i felt. I felt light headed and woozy and numb. I felt everything. I thought i would throw up or collapse. "I-I don't know." I told them. I stumbled back on my feet, my head suddenly rushing. Tony lunged forward to steady me. "Ok, it's fine, everything is going to be fine." He reassured. "Just sit down." He pressed my shoulders with his hands and guided me to the bench. He knelt down in front of me and watched me. He looked as scared as i felt. My body shook and i went pale. "Oh shit." He muttered quietly. "Do you need water?" He asked. I shook my head. Sirens made us all look over to the road. The ambulance pulled in by the park. "I'll go." Nat said as she started to run towards the ambulance. A few paramedics jumped out and she met them. She said a few words and then they all rushed over to me. They pushed through the crowd that had slowly formed.