The shadow Hunter

Chapter 70

"Everybody wants a happy ending right?" He said. "But it doesn't always roll that way." Sitting on the sofa of the lake house, my little sister curled up in my lap, and listening to the final words I would ever hear Tony Stark say, I knew that was true. "Maybe this time.", his voice produced from the lucid hologram. It was him. His hair, his eyes, his face, his same slightly cocky smirk. But it wasn't him. It was just a projection- one of his own making ironically. I had such an urge to reach out and touch it, to grasp his hand just once more. But I didn't dare, not ready for the crashing sensation when my hand inevitably disappeared through it. 

"I'm hoping if you play this back, it's in celebration." Well the smartest people said that funerals were a celebration, a chance to celebrate that the person had existed rather than to mourn the fact they weren't here. I hadn't really understood that before but now maybe I did. "I hope families are reunited." We had done that at least. He had done that. Clint returned to his family, Nick Fury returned to SHIELD, Peter returned to MJ and Ned, whilst I returned to Morgan and Pepper...with an empty space between us all. Everyone had got back what they had lost. I got Peter back. I couldn't be disappointed by that. But I had lost too. My dad. Natasha.

I had been the one who had to tell Yelena. I had to see her face crumple, her eyes flood, her body fold in half. "She was a hero." I told her. Yelena just stared at me and tried to crack a small smile, failing. "She was my hero." She had been mine too. Natasha had saved me from myself back in Russia. She had been hopeful when I couldn't be. And she had been right, I'm sure she had a smirk on her face, where ever she was, muttering to herself 'I told you so'. "She was my everything." Yelena half whispered. "Being her sister was the best thing I ever got to do." 

"Tell me what you're feeling." I uttered after a long, pregnant silence. I heard Yelena scoff slightly. She didn't respond for a while and then she stared at me. "Like I want to run away." She said. I furrowed my brows. "Come on. Lets run away like we always planned remember." I smiled softly but shook my head. "I'm sorry Yelena." I said. "But I can't keep running away. Not anymore." Her face faded. "I have Peter and Morgan and Pepper. I can't leave them again." She turned away curtly and looked down at the floor. "I have no one." She choked out. "You have me." I told her. "You will always have me." 

Tony's face took on a look of awe and wonder and for a moment it was like he was here again, that silly look when he was thinking. But the blue hue reminded me he wasn't here with me. "God if 10 years ago you had told me we weren't alone, even to this extent, I mean I wouldn't have been surprised but look at the epic forces of dark and light that have come into play." The hologram glitched slightly and he sighed deeply. "And for better or worse that's the reality Morgan is going to have to find a way to grow up in." Then his eyeline moved from the distance in which he had been staring at and met with mine. "And for better or worse you are going to have to fight those forces." Maybe it was a coincidence or maybe he was speaking to me. I clutched onto Morgan just a little tighter, hugging her closer to my chest. "Especially if I'm not here to do it."

He should be. He should be the one holding Morgan in his laps. It was so unfair that she didn't get to grow up with her dad. Although I hadn't grown up with him, oddly it was the years I was with him that I did the most growing up. It was him that believed in me, who showed me who I was, it was him who gave me the shadow hunter suit and told me to go out and be a hero. It was him who had protected me and stood up for me when everyone was against me. Who was going to show Morgan the hero she was, who was going to protect her, stand up for her? It would be me. And I would be the one to tell her about him, all the incredible things he did, all the people he saved, how he had saved me. I would tell her of dad's great sacrifice and she would be proud of him like I was, despite the niggling feeling in my head that I wished he hadn't been so selfless. It was selfish I know. 

"So I thought I better record this, incase of that. Incase of an untimely death." He continued. "This time travel thing we are pulling off tomorrow it's really got me scratching my head about the survivability. But then again that's the hero gig." Tony said. "Part of the journey is the end." The end. I wasn't ready for the end. But I knew when his hologram disappeared it was the end. "Anyway what am I even panicking about it's going to be fine." The hologram stood up swiftly. "You probably won't ever even see this." Tony uttered. "But if you do," He said, suddenly stepping closer towards where I was sat. "Remember that no matter what, you will always be a hero to me." And the strange translucent eyes that were his but not quite looked at me and I knew it was meant for me. Then he disappeared. I wanted to reach out and grab onto him but he was gone.

We gathered outside by the lake and I stood with Pepper, holding Morgan's small hand as the wreath of flowers surrounding the metal core of Tony's suit floated across the water. Proof that Tony Stark had a heart, Pepper had said. But to me the proof he had a heart was within me. Morgan pressed her face into my arm, the small tears of confusion and sadness dripping down. I turned around finding Peter's solemn face, next to him his Aunt May. Rhodes and Happy stood near by, silent tears on their cheeks. They had known him the longest and maybe the best. I had a strange yearn to hug them tightly, to cling on and absorb everything about Tony Stark. Steve, Thor and Bruce patted each other on the back stiffly. Strange, Wong, Scott Lang, Nebula, T'Challa, Clint- they were all here. All dressed in black and hanging their heads. Then right at the back, Nick Fury and Carol Danvers. Fury caught my eye and gave me a small nod.

"Your father was a great man." Everyone else had dispersed but I had stayed stood by the lake, staring out. "I know he was." I said, in reply to Thor as he joined me. "I just wish I had realized that sooner." I muttered. I felt like I had spent so many years hating him and I wished now I hadn't wasted those years. Now that I knew him and loved him, he was gone. "I know it's selfish and stupid." I started. "But sometimes I really wish he hadn't done it." I said, quietly, almost scared to admit it. "I know that doesn't make sense because we got everyone back, I got Peter back but..." I trailed off. "But we don't get everyone back." Thor said. I looked at him and he pressed his lips together in understanding. "Everyone got people back but we don't get everyone back- we lost as much as we gained." We stood in silence for a while, a silence of understanding. "You look a lot better." I said. Thor's hair was less matted and it had been trimmed and his skin and eye's yellowness had faded. "Well I've been staying off the booze, it looks like you have as well." It was true. Every time I had wanted to, reached for a drink or considered something stronger I had heard my dad's voice in my head. 'You promise me you will stop it?' Then I just couldn't do it, couldn't take a sip or a hit. I looked better for it I guess, less skinny, less pale and tired. 

Footsteps behind us turned our attention. "I'll leave you two alone." Thor said, leaving as Peter replaced him by my side. "It was a nice ceremony." He said. I nodded in agreement. "I miss him." I admitted. "yeah, me too." Peter replied. Sometimes, in my dreams and in my head I was still in Stark towers- like it was 5 years ago. I came down the stairs expecting to see Tony sat at the table with the newspaper or working on some scraps of metal. But he never was. I had made a habit now of sitting in his study, looking at his notes and odd half finished inventions- trying to decipher his mind. Then Marley would push open the door, always able to find me and sit by my feet, like a message from Tony it was all going to be ok. That life goes on and we will be ok without him. Maybe I would be, maybe I wouldn't. But I had my family. It was ironic how I had spent so much of my life thinking I didn't have one, but really I had one all along. They weren't all here, but they were all still with me. I knew I was lucky because of this, I thought, slipping my hand into Peter's.

In the end the man made of metal saved everyone, his own life for countless others. He was a hero. But what about the girl with her shield? She missed her man of metal- wishing they had more time. But time always seemed to be running out for the girl. But one thing that would never run out was the memory of him and every time she thought of him, she promised to be a hero just like him. The Shadow hunter.

Part of the journey is the end.