The shadow Hunter

chapter 26

Pepper had been gone for a month now. She had texted me the day after she left, apologizing for not saying goodbye. She called me every week to check up on me. There was nothing much to say but i fabricated the reality slightly, and as far as Pepper was concerned, i was at school all the time and happy, completely fine. I didn't tell Tony she called because i knew she wasn't calling him. It would just hurt him. He had been going to conventions, doing more talks at colleges, spending a lot of time in his lab just to distract himself. I spent most of the time shut up in my room. That's where i was on a Saturday in the middle of April. But my mind was somewhere else. 

I was in a house, a small cottage in the country side of England. I stood in the kitchen mixing something in a bowl. The kitchen was white and not too small or big. Picture frames littered the surfaces, some of family some of friends. "That smells good." A cheery, familiar voice said. I savored the sound. Pietro entered the kitchen and wound his arms around my waist, kissing my neck softly. "You spoil me. Tomorrow, i make breakfast." He whispered in my ear. I smiled, etching every word, every inflection, ever note of his accent into my mind. I turned around to see his face, his hands pressed against my back. His face was chiseled and beautiful, his eyes grey and wonderful, his hair shiny and lovely. "But you can't make breakfast half as good as i can." I told him. He smirked and shook his head. "Oh yeah?" He played. "You are so gonna regret saying that." I laughed and ran through the kitchen as he chased me. Of course it didn't matter how fast i ran, i was no match for Pietro Maximoff. He wrapped his arms around me and we collapsed on the sofa, laughing together. He lowered his lips to mine and it felt like flowers were blooming and shooting stars crossed the sky as we kissed. "I love you." He whispered into my lips. "I know." I told him and smiled. "I love you too." 

He placed his hands on my stomach. "How's little Iryna Evelyn Maximoff?" He asked. I looked down to my stomach where you could see a prominent bump. "She's doing great. Although she gives me back pain and i can no longer eat chocolate with out throwing up." I replied. I placed my hands on top of his. Suddenly i felt a jolt in my stomach. "Did she...?" Pietro started with disbelief. "She just kicked!" I gasped with excitement. A grin formed on his face as our little baby kicked again. For a bliss moment, we were happy and smiling and we were together. And then everything started to slip away. The walls disappeared, then the picture frames and the kitchen. The sofa beneath us vanished and we were standing in endless darkness. "Pietro?" I spoke urgently. He didn't reply to me, just smiled, as he began to slip away too. I ran to him but i grabbed thin air.

I gasped as i woke up, lying in the dark in my bed. My breath shook as i realized i was in my bedroom. I rubbed my eyes (they were damp) and they started to adjust to the light. I looked over to the screen, it read 5.30 am. I sat up in bed, trying to contemplate my dream. I had been so happy. We had been so happy. And we were together, we even had a daughter on the way. Iryna. It had been his mother's name. But it wasn't real. It tore through me, leaving scars behind. It felt like there was a whole in my chest and i had to clutch it at risk of it falling apart. I tried to ignore the feeling, forget the dream. I stepped out of bed and looked down at my clothes- I was still wearing the clothes from the day before. I opened my blinds to let the morning sunlight in but it just reminded me of the darkness. I couldn't stop it, i couldn't hold the hole in my chest together anymore. It ripped apart as i fell on to my knees at the foot of my bed. It tore as i cried, parts of me fell away as i bit my lip to stop screaming and drawing Tony's attention. I cried until there was none of me left, until i had disappeared. 

My mind felt numb but i could still find the pain. I didn't think, i didn't know what i was doing, it felt like my body just took me to what i needed. I walked down the hall towards Tony's room. It was empty but had turned into a pigsty since Pepper left. He was probably up in his lab already. I searched his bathroom cabinet for the pills. Once i found it, i twisted open the cap and poured the contents into my hand. It had been full the first time i found them. Now, from a container of 50, there were only a dozen left. How long had i been taking them for? How many had i taken? It didn't matter now. I downed the rest and swallowed hard. I left the container in the cupboard and left the room, left the penthouse. I had no destination, walking the streets of nyc for a while, although i found my self at the place i always did.