words you hear on a sinking ship | lil peep

[3]

allie

i followed gus into the house. it looked like he was the only one home right now, but not the only one living here. the whole place was a mess, clothes were strewn everywhere and every flat surface was covered in dishes, empty bottles and cans and food wrappers.

"go sit. i'll be right there" he said, pointing me in the direction of the couch. i did as he told me, heading to the couch. he walked the opposite direction, into the kitchen. i sat stiffly on the edge of the couch, not quite comfortable with my surroundings yet. i could see the reflection of the kitchen in the black tv screen in front of me. i watched him open the little bag, pouring it out on the counter. he arranged it into a couple of lines, leaning over to clean it off the table.

i heard the fridge open and close, then his footsteps approaching me. "um, here. are you okay now?" he asked, handing me a bottle of water. "um, i guess so" i told him. i was more uncomfortable and uncertain than upset at this point. gus chuckled to himself a little "i can't believe brayden sent his little sister to me. that's so fucked" he laughed. "well it's fine i guess" i shrugged, what can you do? i'm here now.

"you know what business he was up to?" gus asked. "no idea" i told him. "he basically said i was coming here, handed me a gun and left" i explained. "he make you do this often?" gus asked. "once or twice i think" i said. i twisted the lid on the bottle until the plastic seal cracked, taking a slow sip. "you stay out of this shit right?" he asked. "like drugs?" i responded. "like this whole lifestyle, your brothers and mine" he said. "yeah i don't get involved" i told him. "good. good girl" he told me.

"brayden said you guys were friends, how'd you meet?" i asked him, nothing about him stuck out as anything brayden had ever talked about. "high school" gus said. "oh, so you've been friends for a while?" i asked. he graduated quite a few years ago. "yeah you could say that" gus said.

"how much younger than him are you?" he asked. "4 years. i'm nineteen" i told him. "ah okay. i turn 23 in november" he told me. "nice" i smiled, not sure of what else to say. i hated small talk. it was april, so he still had a while to go. "ah. speak of the devil" i said, showing him my phone screen that was lit up from a text from brayden.

brayden
i'm home. where tf are you? are you okay?

allie
at gus'

brayden
still? what are u doing? are u okay?

allie
fine. just talking

brayden
get ur ass home. we need to have a chat

allie
eventually
i'm an adult
ur not my mom

brayden
just listen to me please
for ur own good
get home asap

allie
fine

"brayden really wants me home. thanks for letting me stay for a bit. take care" i told him, getting up off the couch. "you really gotta go?" he asked. "yeah sorry. maybe i'll see you later?" i said. "as long as it's not under these circumstances. tell your brother to stop being an idiot" he said, following me to the door. "will do. goodnight" i said, stepping out of the door. "goodnight. drive safe" he told me.

i smiled and waved while walking back to the car. he stayed on the step until i got in the car and started to work pull out of the driveway. he seemed absolutely terrifying at first but ended up being quite sweet. maybe he did have a point about brayden sending me out on random drug deals as well. i'd really prefer not to get stuck with that, this was a nice guy and i still couldn't hold it together.

my phone started ringing in the cup holder, i picked up and threw it on speaker. "what?" i asked, "are you on the road?" brayden asked. "yeah i'll be home in a few why?" i asked. "we gotta have a talk okay?" he said. "yeah okay whatever" i said, brushing it off and hanging up. i was literally doing a favour he asked of me so i'm not sure how many qualms he can have about it.

the last stoplight i had to go through before i was home turned red, causing me to slow to a stop by it. the cars interior lit up a dim red from it, mostly drowned out by the pitch black sky. the adrenaline rushing through my body had relaxed a little, i felt a lot more normal now.

once it turned green i continued forward, until i had to turn onto my street. brayden's car took up some of my part of the driveway, he almost always parked like an asshole when he was home before me. i ended up also on an angle with a tire on the grass, which i'm sure i would hear all about it from dad.

i got out of the car, slamming the door behind me and clicking the lock twice until it beeped. i swung the front door open, startled by brayden who seemed to basically be waiting for me. he leaned against the closet door a few feet from the front door.

"um hi?" i said. "we gotta talk" he told me. "about what?" i asked. "just come sit" he said, walking to the living room couch. "whatever. make it fast i probably don't care that much" i sighed. "you should. i know what's best for you here" he said. "well, i highly doubt that, but why don't you just get to your point" i told him. "gus" he started.

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