words you hear on a sinking ship | lil peep

[17]

2 weeks later

brayden was still in the hospital. he had a period of recovery but he had been on a stuttering decline for the last week. his lung wouldn't heal and he had continuous periods of internal bleeding. his head wasn't quite right. he wasn't himself. i never knew what to expect from him when i woke up every morning.

i hadn't seen gus since the first night brayden was in the hospital. i didn't know how to approach him or the situation. he'd stop texting me. i guess he realized he wasn't getting an answer anytime soon.

brayden's ecg beeped along steadily. he spent more time asleep than awake the last week. i was worried. really worried. we were losing him and we were losing more of him everyday. "please just get batter. come back bray. please. i miss my brother. why did this happen to you? out of everyone in this world why you?" i cried to him even though he wasn't awake to hear me. 

incoming call | gus 

i stared at my phone screen, debating wether or not to pick up. brayden was asleep, he wouldn't know. i made the rash decision to go out to the hallway and answer the call. i was still refusing to make the choice even though the answer was clear. 

"hello?" i answered 

"allie?" he asked

"no shit you dialed my number" i said, rolling my eyes

" i just didn't expect you to answer" he said

"what do you want?" i asked him

"how is he?" he asked 

"why do you care?" i snapped

"he was my friend too" he said 

"so what? you did this" i reminded him 

"allie just please let me see him" he pleaded

i paused. i had to consider what brayden would want too.

"i don't think that's what he would want" i told him

"what if i wanted to apologize?" he asked. 

i paused again. 

"then you better do it when i'm not there" i told him. 

"and whens that?" he asked

"figure it out" i said, hanging up the call. 

gus

love u

read

a nurse came in to check on him. i recognized the look on her face. it was sympathy, an "i know nothing is going to get better" look. i knew that though. our days were numbered. maybe months, maybe weeks, maybe days. i couldn't tell. "how is he?" i asked her. "his oxygen has dropped slightly since yesterday again" she said. "how bad is that?" i asked. "well, it's not good. we're doing whatever we can for him though" she said. "i know, thank you?" i told her. 

"and how are you doing? im sure you haven't been asked that enough" she asked me. "not good" i said. "i can imagine, what's bothering you the most?" she asked. "he's my only family. i can't lose him. i'm also stuck choosing between my brother and someone else i love. they don't exactly get along" i told her. i might as well spill my guts to her. who else was i going to tell?

"if they both love you enough they can put their differences aside" she told me. she brought up a good point. i couldn't tell her that gus was the one to do this, it felt wrong to incriminate him for some reason. 

brayden slowly reawakened at the sound of our voices. "easy" the nurse said while he tried to sit up. it was obvious he was struggling a little for air. "allie" he said, gasping a little. his voice strained. "yeah?" i asked. "can you pass me my phone, i want to call dad" he said. "oh. dad. yeah sure" i said, reaching to grab his phone off of the table. 

"here" i handed it to him. "thanks. do you mind if i uh, do this call alone?" he asked, looking at me and then the nurse. that was a little odd, but whatever. he was a little out of his head. "sure" i said, getting up to follow the nurse out of the room. she continued down the hallway to tend to other patients. i waited on the other side of the hall until he was done talking to our dad on the phone. i couldn't hear what he was saying, but i don't think he's talked to dad since he ended up here. they were a lot closer than i was with dad. 

brayden

im done 

read

i went back into the room after i received the text. "what did you need to tell him?" i asked. "doesn't matter" he said with a bit of an attitude. "alright then" i sighed, whats so bad? 

"al" he said 

"yeah?" i asked

"i love you, you're a good sister. keep taking care of yourself" he said. 

"random but love you too and okay" i chuckled a little, i didn't know where that came from. 

a/n

is it wrong of her to get back w gus? are yall pro good sister or pro gus