Lover's Curse (Red Queen Awards Winner)

Chapter Forty One - Broken Glass

Said you needed this heart, then you got it                                                                                  Turns out that it wasn't what you wanted                                                                                  - Goodbyes by Post Malone

Maven

I did it.

Mare is asleep beside me, still nestled in my arms. My hand glides through her hair, marveling at the sunlight caught in the caramel strands like glowing embers, intoxicating as my own flame. I could get drunk on her.

The trip to Whitefire is brief, yet far, far, too long. We stagger against her door, panting as we kick it open with a violent thrust. She hesitates. "Should we do this right now?"

"Court can wait an hour." My lips find her ear. "Welcome home."

We collapse into the sheets, laying sideways as we stare into each other's eyes. My heart aches as I lean closer. How long have I been without her? How long can one gasp without air?

"May I remove your blouse?" I stroke her neck. "It's disrupting the view."

Her nails drag down my arms. "What if I undressed you first?"

A thief before a queen, Mare undoes me with nimble fingers and light caresses, stripping my layers until none remain. No one else has seen me this bare. No one else will.

"Shall I do the honors?" I take her hand and kiss each knuckle, long and slow, head bowed as I kneel on the bed beside her. "My queen."

"Please." My heart soars. "I'll--" She breaks away. "I'll do it myself."

It sinks.

No matter. Watching is fine. Watching is enough.

My brand smolders with each passing second, half-M blistering as she unhooks her bra. It was formed in this bed, by her hand, the same hand I worshipped less than a minute ago. Her love bruises and bites like a feral dog, so painful I shatter if alone too long.

My love. Mine and mine alone.

"It's been so long." I tuck her head under my chin. "You drive me mad. I can't think straight if you're not by my side. When I lost you, I--" My throat wobbles. "I would have done anything. Killed anyone. Broken any promise." I bury myself in her hair. "Never leave again. Please."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Prove it." Mare pushes me flat on my back, breath hot against my ear. "Prove you love me. Prove you would do anything to please me."

"I never said that."

She flinches.

Her hands roam my chest, lingering on my collarbone. I brace myself. She's going to finish it. Her initial will be seared into my flesh forever, staving off anyone who'd dare to claim me.

I don't have a heart to give her. She might as well take my body.

"You know me better than anyone else." I stare into her eyes, rich and luxurious as polished mahogany. "All my broken pieces. The light trapped within them. No one else would grieve if I died tomorrow."

She looks away. "Cal would."

"Fuck Cal."

Mare smirks, closing her eyes. "Don't mind if I do."

"Love." I coax her legs apart, stroking a lazy finger over her soaked core. "Has Cal ever touched you like this? Does he know you love to be pressed right here--" She moans. "--but not here?" A whisper, soft and lethal as only the truth can be. "Fucking Cal wouldn't be very fun, would it?"

A sharp slap burns my cheek. "Shut up."

"Make me."

Her fingers curl against my scalp and pull, tearing razor blades of pain down my spine. "Speak and you'll regret it."

"I know you better than anyone else." My neck arches to make way for her beautiful bruises, each more brutal than the last. "Would Cal let you do this? Would he understand your need for destruction?"

The next bite draws blood. "Iris does."

"Not like I do. She's never had to prove herself the way you and I have." My fingers dig into her sounder scars. "Her pain has always been tempered by healers and loved ones. She'll never understand what it means to be alone. She can never put you together again."

A snort. "You think you can?"

"Colors, no. I love you just the way you are."

A beat passes.

"Are you waiting for me to say the same?"

I pull her into a blistering kiss, let her bite my lips until they're bruised as the rest of me. "I don't need to be fixed, Mare. I'm not a project for you to pore over and use to feel better about yourself. Love me, all of me, or love no one at all. Your choice."

"No one it is."

"That was a rhetorical question, Mare." I slither to her ear. "We both know you'll never leave."

She recoils. "What?"

"You need me." My hand cups her cheek. "To hurt. To hold. To love. We're shards of broken glass too painful for anyone else to touch. If I lost you, I'd shatter." A tear, swallowed by a kiss. "And I think you would too."

Mare trembles.

"Ssh." I smooth her hair, showering kisses on her forehead. "I won't let that happen. I'm yours. And you're mine. All mine."

Forever.

She sighs. "It's never gonna get better, is it? It'll be the same every time."

I cradle her to my chest, stroke her with all the tenderness my rotten soul can muster. "So long as we're together."

"Yes." She sounds far away. "So long as we're together."

A/N: Climax next!  My favorite chapter, post on Thursday