Literal Garbage

why dating is complicated and has never worked out for me

I was bored so I decided to talk about myself.

Um, so. I have never been in a romantic relationship before. I know this does not come as a shock to anyone who's known me for more than three seconds.

That being said, I'd like to date someone. It's just hard.

For one, I'm trans (which I'm sure you already know). This makes liking people complicated, because I don't know if they would date a trans man. If I like a straight guy or a lesbian, I can't date them because they would view me as female or, if they did respect my identity, they wouldn't be interested in dating a boy of course.

As for when I'm attracted to gay guys or straight girls, I have to worry about whether they view me as male, or if I'm man enough for them. Then there's enbies, which would be a hit or miss. Either they like guys or don't. I don't think an enby would be opposed to a trans guy if they're into guys, but idk. At any rate, I've only ever personally known one (1) enby individual.

In conclusion, very few people would even consider dating a trans man.

But in my experience, this has not been the reason people have declined my offers of romance. I'm just fundamentally unattractive, I guess. I've asked people out before, and they were all people who I knew would date a trans guy, but they all turned me down. They just didn't return my feelings, which I completely understand. They thought of me as more of a friend, each of them told me, and that's fine.

It's just kind of disappointing when you want every single crush you have is unrequited. 

I'm a hopeless romantic, I think. I want the cuddles and the kisses and holding hands and the cute date nights and falling asleep in each other's arms. I want somebody who makes me feel safe and loved and like a real man. I want somebody who knows how weird I am and doesn't care. I want somebody who I can stay up late reading books or watching anime with. But I don't think it's in the cards for me. I'm meant to be one of those guys who reads x readers instead of actually dating, I guess.

Another thing is being asexual. I mean, I've never even had someone romantically like me, so of course my asexuality is never going to be a problem. But even if someone does end up dating me, I'm going to worry. Even though I know nobody will ever like, want to fuck me or whatever, I'm still going to worry that being ace will make them not like me anymore. I don't know, that's probably stupid. ("But this whole CHAPTER is stupid, Corey!" -you) but I think most people are wary of aces, because most people are not ace and feel some sort of sexual attraction, so the thought of being asexual is foreign to them. 

And then, there's my appearance. Namely, the fact that it is a feminine appearance. My hair? Long. My face? Smooth as a baby's ass. My voice? Stupidly feminine. My clothes? Literally just nerdy t-shirts or baggy sweaters. It's all very bad. So again, I understand why people don't like me. Add my appearance and my trans and ace identity along with my terrible personality and you've got one undateable boy. 

I'm sure I could further justify my status as undateable....

Hmm...

I'll get back to you, I'm sure I'll think of additional information (because god knows there are p l e n t y  of reasons to not date me).