crush/boyfriend imagines

Lifeline

TW: anxiety and panic attack.

It was the last month of summer before my freshman year of college. It was only a community college, but still, quite nerve-wracking. It was still my first time living on my own - without my parents/family. Having to fend for myself. Yea, I'd had a job before but I'd still never been in charge of groceries, bills, insurances, essentially just having to fend for myself. My parents have always been incredibly generous in how they've helped me out in life - even though they weren't necessarily rich, per se.

Y/bf and I had been together for almost a year now and I'd never been happier. We got together about a month into our senior year after hanging out with each other, mainly, the entire summer prior. And we've been together ever since. 

Y/bf was also going to the same school as me so it wasn't like I was going to be completely alone. I had him to keep me the least bit sane. 

-

"Y/bf," I said in a somewhat shaky voice, my heart rate rising.

"Mhm..." he questioned not looking away from his video game.

"I uh- I-" My voice caught and he turned around so fast. He practically threw his headset off and rushed over to me as I sat on his bed on the other side of the room, not even bothering to pause his game. 

"Hey, hey, y/n, it's okay, just breathe..." He dragged the last word and started rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb as the other hand cupped my face. I took a few breaths before he said anything else. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm starting to get really uh, scared-" my breath hitched and I stopped breathing for a second.

"Hey, hey, look at me," he lifted my chin so I'd look at him. "Deep breaths, I'm right here with you," he looked deep into my eyes with a soft look on his face. He pushed a few pieces of hair out of my face and wiped a small tear that had slipped down my cheek.

"School, money, everything," I breathed.

"Hey, we have a whole month before you have to worry about that stuff, so just relax. It'll all be okay, I promise," he reassured me, kissing my forehead and pulling me in for a hug.

Ever since the beginning of y/bf and I's friendship he's always been super helpful and understanding of my chronic anxiety and constant panic attacks. And since we started dating having him with me, near me, all the time got me to stop worrying about my problems 24/7. I could finally breathe and live freely without panicking about every little thing all the time. He was my lifeline - essentially.

I let out a long shaky breath and hugged him as if my life depended on it.

"Hey," he said and I looked up at him. "Let's wrap this up as the best summer of our lives, yea?" His thumb rubbed my chin.

"Yea," I nodded with a soft smile.

"Okay," he smiled and kissed my forehead again, pulling me into another hug.

"You wanna go back to your game now?" I asked taking in a shallow breath.

"Only if you don't need me anymore," he smiled.

"I'll always need you," I said quietly, nuzzling my face into his neck.

"That's my whole point, sweetheart," and my heart smiled.

-

The month had flown by and we were at our last week of summer. 

"The fair is this weekend isn't it?" I asked y/bf as he made a bowl of cereal for lunch in the kitchen.