Save Myself Therapy | Taekook

Nostalgic

----Taemin's Prov ----------------------

I felt cold against my cheek and stirred up a bit. Why is it so cold ... my bed was always warm? I slowly opened my eyes when shiver ran down my spine. It was dark all around and the suddenly images of what happened today flooded my mind.

Don't tell me I am still stuck in this closed space and no one knows where I am... I want to go home please... I don't like being alone in dark... I don't like closed spaces ...Please it reminds me of it...

I held my head in my hand while pulling my knees up hiding my face in it. Images of that dreadful night filled my mind... No... No... not here ... don't think about it Taemin... please don't ...

What if Idie here and no one comes... just like that time...

Flashback:

I was 10 years old seated in the back passenger seat while mom was driving. We were going home from our Jeju Island trip.

It started to pour down suddenly making the visibility minimum. There were hardly any cars on the Highway in this weather. Mom told to hang in till we reach city area to stay for the night. Everything was going okay.

I believed my mom... that things will turn out good. But suddenly a car came crashing to our car with full force. The other car which hit us rolled over the barricade placed around the road protecting to not fall in the valley.

I watched the dreadful scene in front of my eyes. Hearing the scream of the people in that car as it went passed the barricade. Faint sound of my breath and mom's could be heard as silence fell over. It was as if nothing had happened few seconds ago. The rain hitting the concrete surface filled in.

My car was toppled over... glass shards piercing through my arms. I saw my mom through the broken rear view mirror. She looked at me and tried to smile while a thin line of blood slipped passed her lips. I couldn't move ... I felt numbness in my leg. The rain was pouring down washing over all the blood.

"Tae-Taemin... my son... I am- I am sorry. Mo-om is sorry. It will be okay" My eye lids started to get heavy and vision blur. I tried to shake my head and blink.

I can't close my eyes... I want to see mom's face ... I am scared mom. Will anyone save us ever? The close space of the car started to suffocate me... The darkness around was not helping. I looked at mom to see her eyes closed.

Panic ran through my body... I tried to move my leg to get out ... "Mo- mom... wak-eup ple-ase ". Dad please save us... I chanted in mind.

The next time I opened my eyes... I lost it... I couldn't remember anyone. The panic attack had made my mind shut down every memory that would lead me to another one. I couldn't recognize my father... After years later my father married other women. She was sweet and kind so I didn't object. I didn't wanted Dad to be left alone when his own son was not the same anymore.

Everything related to my mom was hidden in the store room locked away from me. Dad was scared it will trigger me and make it worse. I couldn't even remember the women who dropped me to  the strangers in that rainy day even when she was bleeding heavily. Just so one of us could be saved. She died of blood loss by the time the Strangers took us to the hospital.

After 8 years I tumbled across that room and saw our family photo. I cried and cried... how can a son not remember his own mother. My step mother never made me feel less love but...

MOM... why?

End Flashback...

I pulled my hair ... images of my mom couldn't go away... It was my fault... I should have helped her... why did I not do anything... how could I take 8 years to remember my savior...