Locked Away

XXI

I looked down at Paisley, her forehead trickled with sweat as she was wrapped around me tightly. I caressed her hair as I slowly sat up against her headboard, she had been having nightmares the past few days. Her dark lashes were clumped together from her tears, I took a deep breath trying to soothe my sadness for her. Each dream is different but with the same result with James leaving and not coming home. Him being gone has really taken a toll on her this time around, she knew something was wrong when I came home and clearly it has been bothering her since then.

I, too have been wondering if James was going to come back. Honestly I expected them to be here by now, the anxiety and adrenaline that each day brings is getting to be unsettling. Constantly watching the door when a car drives by, hearing a noise that is obviously your mind playing tricks on you, it is getting tiring.

I felt Paisley shift against me, her eyebrows furrowed and she groaned faintly. I rubbed my thumb over her forehead shushing her softly, resting my hand on the side of her face and caressing her temple. Usually I would help by putting a good dream in her mind, or even just a picture of something that makes her happy but Lena doesn't want me using a lot of magic right now especially if she isn't around. I am getting better, but my emotions are still tricky and she wants to be cautious.

Once she seemed settled, I pried myself away from her very slowly, making sure not to wake her up.  After getting free I pulled the comforter over her shoulder, walked out, and cracked her door open just in case she started to cry so I could hear her. I quietly walked down the stairs and glanced at the clock reading 2:37 AM.

I sat at the island in the kitchen and sighed heavily, looking down at my ring glistening under the dim lights. My stomach was in knots, I missed him, a part of me still feels guilty for what happened...but at the same time I wasn't sure how I was going to react once I did see him. I rubbed my tired eyes and inhaled deeply, wishing that James was here for Paisley's sake.  My spine stiffened as I heard a small creaking noise coming from the entry room, I turned to face the room and saw James standing there.

"It's probably not a good idea for you to be sneaking up on me," I spoke, my heartbeat picked up watching his face appear out of darkness.

"It was Sheamus," He said guiltily, "He altered your perception of Harlow's memory."

"That's supposed to justify you locking me in a cement cage for days?" I hissed. I could feel my nerves jolting, my hands began shaking and my nostrils flaring. 

"You think I liked holding you while they fried your brain?" He scuffed, taken aback by my question. "Let's not forget, I know how that feels."

"You certainly didn't stop it." My voice cracked while I answered him. I tore my eyes from his face and looked down at my hands, they were warm and trembling. My veins felt like they were on fire, and my hands were changing a small shade of red. 

"I didn't want you to hurt anyone," He said lowly, I could see sadness flow over his face. I know he had good intentions, but I couldn't grasp how he thought that would be okay. 

"You hurt me." I sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that were already running down my cheeks.

I wasn't angry at him, I was incredibly hurt. He was the one who held me down, preventing me from leaving. I had begged him to let me go, and he refused. My heart had been shattered into zillions of pieces and frankly I wasn't sure how to piece it back together all the way. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't and instead he just nodded his head slowly. He made his way closer to me and the closer he got the faster my heart started to race. 

He reached his hand out to me, I stood up and took a few steps back from him. "You should go upstairs...Paisley has been having nightmares about you."