baby blue • rafe cameron

twelve

when i woke up, i was still lying across the floor. i felt my head still throbbing as i groaned, sitting up slowly. the pills were still scattered as i pushed myself up. i grabbed four off the table, swallowing them with some water from a bottle. i went into the bathroom, dumping my other medications into my hand, downing them too. i walked over to the window, squinting my eyes at the light. i pulled the blinds and curtains shut, closing off most of the light. i crawled into the bed, pulling the blanket over my head, trying to fall asleep, but my head kept pounding, my eyes burning every couple minutes.

i wasn't sure how long i'd been lying there, but it had to have been a while, because i heard rafe enter the room, along with another voice.

"that was sick," they said. i immediately identified it as topper. i heard their shuffling stop. "what happened in here?"

"lynn?" rafe asked.

i pushed my eyes shut, trying to ease the pain of the small light as he pulled the covers back. i groaned, pushing my face into the pillow.

"what the hell happened? what did you do?" he asked.

"rafe, there's more in the bathroom." topper said.

"lynn, what the fuck did you do?" rafe asked, his voice dripping in anger.

"it's hurts," i told him. "it won't stop pounding."

"your head?"

i pulled the covers back over my face.

"rafe, man, i don't know how much were in those bottles before, but they're all over the counter and there's not that many left." topper said.

"go get her mom." rafe told him.

"no," i said. "please, don't get my mom."

"go," rafe told him. he sat next to me, pulling the blanket back just slightly. "lynn, what happened? why are their pills everywhere? why is your head hurting?"

"leave me alone!" i yelled, starting to cry. "please, just stop talking."

"what's wrong?" i heard my mom's voice.

"what happened?" my dad asked.

i forced my eyes to open, which made them burn. i watched through my blurred vision, seeing my mom scan the bathroom and then the floor, seeing all the pills.

"oh my god," she hurried over, pushing rafe away. "gracelynn, honey, tell me how many you took."

"i don't know." i shook my head. "mom, please make it stop."

"make what stop?"

i tried to talk, but i felt my hands start to shake and my breathing become heavy. i started wheezing as she and my dad helped me sit up.

"hey, it's okay, you're okay." my mom told me. "you're safe."

i shook my head, trying to take a breath.

"i'm..." i pushed out, letting out a wheeze and pushing my eyes shut.

"what's happening?" topper asked.

"just, shut up." rafe told him. rafe climbed on the bed in front of me. "hey, lynn..."

"go...away..." i said, pushing my mom and dad away from me. i looked to rafe.

"you want me gone?" he asked.

i nodded.

"okay," he said and stood. he looked to topper. "come on top."

"you guys are just going to leave her?" topper asked. "have you seen the pills?"

"she's having a panic attack, sweetheart, she asked us to leave." my mom told him. she ushered rafe and my dad out, waiting as topper watched me. i felt a tear run down my face. "topper, let's go..."