Pulling Through Together (Lan Zhan x Wei Ying)

Is It So Wrong...? 🌸

Jin Ling POV

"Where are we going?" I asked Lan Sizhui. This was very random and unlike him to just waltz out on a "family" gathering or whatever you wanna call it.

He looked at me like he was excited but excited for what? "You'll see when we get there. Close your eyes by the way. I'll lead you."

I don't like the idea of this. Don't get me wrong, I trust that Lan Sizhui isn't about to take me to my death, but closing my eyes? Not telling me where we're going? Seems like a death trap if you ask me. But-

"Okay fine." As I close my eyes, everything goes black, and all I feel is a hand reaching out to take mine. I don't know why I keep feeling like my chest explodes every time he takes my hand. It's irritating...

We keep walking, my hand in his as he leads me, taking turns along our path as we need to. I'm still in the dark here. Literally. And it's making me antsy not knowing what the hell is going on.

At some point, we come to a stop and since I still have my eyes closed, I feel like I'm out in the open, and Lan Sizhui hasn't said anything to me yet. What am I supposed to do now?

He then lets go of my hand and puts both of his on my shoulders, "Okay, take a few steps to your left, a few steps back, and then sit down." 

As I do what he tells me, I feel the edge of a bench and sit on it. Lan Sizhui lets go of my shoulders and sits next to me, his leg touching mine. Must be a small bench.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now."

As I open my eyes, a magnificent cherry blossom tree is all I see in front of me. The beautiful blush white petals keep falling around us and it's a sight to see. I definitely wasn't expecting this out of all the things for Lan Sizhui to show me, but I'm glad he did show me. 

I didn't realize I had this stupid grin on my face until- "You have a pretty smile"

I turn to him, getting that stupid achy feeling in my chest again, "W-what?" Did I hear that right?

He starts to clear his throat, "I-I mean, you should smile more. It's nice seeing you happy and...all." I didn't know how to respond to that so I just sat in silence, hoping that achy feeling in my chest would go away. 

"Right." The smile I had soon faded as I continued to stare at the cherry blossoms. How can something so great be so fragile too?  

Whatever was going on, I don't think I could handle it anymore and my chest was hurting, so I stood up turning to Lan Sizhui to face him, "We should probably go back."

He didn't say anything really, just looked at me like he was disappointed or nervous or whatever. I just couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling at that moment. I honestly never could in any circumstances between us. He's not an open book for me.

"Let's stay a little longer," he said. He turned his face away from mine so I didn't really know what to think. Maybe he just didn't want to see me and just wanted my company? He's so confusing.

I sighed a little, not really meaning to let it come out all at once, "Alright then." So, I sat back down on the bench next to him. The silence between us grew even more. I guess we were both just looking at the cherry blossom tree now.

A bit of time passed, neither of saying a single word. It was the most awkward thing and I hated it. And I wanted to say something, but my mouth would say exactly what I don't want it to, and that's not fucking helpful...It can't be that hard right?

"Why did you want to show me this?" I asked, trying my best to stay calm.

Lan Sizhui smiled at me, I think he was nervous and I saw how he began to fidget with his hand, "Well, when we were in the Yashi, you seemed a bit bored so I thought that this would help to lighten the mood...So, has it?"

Everything felt blurry to me, I mean all of this meant a lot to me, this really did help to lighten the mood. But I got that achy warm feeling in my chest again. I needed time to think about this and figure out what the hell is happening to me. Why do I feel like this? So anxious and for what?

"Yeah, it kinda has." I smile at him, hoping that he doesn't see the anxiety in me.

He stands up this time, "Take a walk with me?"

I don't wanna go back to the Yashi right now. I don't know whatever this is but it's making everything feel weird to me, and this feeling is like I'm being pulled into something that I don't want to get out of it. Make a decision already. Tell him.

"Alright, I will." Once I stand, we begin our walk around the Cloud Recesses, probably towards the path in Back Mountain. Walking next to him makes me happy a lot more than I'd like to ever admit. I don't understand these feelings nor why I get them when I'm near him. 

And that achy feeling comes back.

We don't speak for the beginning of the walk, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was a calm kind of quiet like we both understood each other even if we didn't say much.

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Lan Sizhui POV

Neither of us spoke for a while but then I start to tell Jin Ling some jokes I remember Senior Wei would tell me. He looked confused at first, which I can't blame, it was all nonsense but...when he would laugh, I couldn't help but stare.

I know Jin Ling doesn't feel the way I do about me how I feel about him...I'm certain of that, but if I can talk to him, see him, make him smile, and hold his hand every so often...then maybe that's okay. If I could kiss him, then maybe-

"Can I try something? We may have to go soon." I said. He turned to me, surprised.

"Oh...I was actually kinda hoping we could uh, walk a bit longer. But what do you want to try exactly?" He's been looking away or down a lot since I asked him to walk along with me. He does so now as he asks me this. I feel my face flush with embarrassment, knowing what I'm about to do could be risky but it doesn't go without trying.

I could get in trouble for this...I'm breaking a rule. I know that. But...this one thing can't be so bad right? Would Jin Ling hate me for this? Yes. No. Maybe? I know what I'm doing...what this means for me.

"Close your eyes again." He gives me a confused look before doing as I asked. It sounds like he asks me something, but it goes in and out my ears as I stare at as features. His long lashes, his cute round cheeks, how his bangs hover over his eyes. He's so pretty...

"Uh, Lan Sizhui? You're still there right?" Though his eyes are closed, he gives this confused expression, but I do answer, placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Yeah, I am." Here it goes... I lean forward a bit, hesitant as I do. I turn my head eyeing his lips. Sigh...I can't do this. I wanted to kiss him. Is that so bad? I know it's not, but...not like this. Instead of kissing his lips, I settle on kissing his cheek. Oh crap, I actually kissed him!

When I do, Jin Ling jumps back, almost as if he was scared, "I-I'm gonna go back! BYE!" the jumbled mess of words spouted from his mouth. It took me a while to register anything as he runs away. I think I messed up... He runs off the direction we came from to the Yashi, but I don't follow after. I decide to stay in Back Mountain around the bunnies that my father had raised. 

I get lost in thought as time goes on, mumbling to myself how stupid I was to have done that. I know I broke a rule and I should get my punishment for it, but...tell me...is it so wrong to fall in love?

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Word Count: 1481

Hey guys! 😌

Sorry, this chapter could've been better, but I'm new to this kind of narrative writing 😅🤓😫

I hoped you liked it tho! Next chapter goes back to Wangxian 🥰🙃

Stay healthy out there 💜💜💜