Pulling Through Together (Lan Zhan x Wei Ying)

I'm So Sorry...

Lan Wangji held his husband's hand as he impatiently waited for the other to open his eyes. It had been a couple of hours now. Lan Zhan looked like a trainwreck. His headband was somewhat crooked and his robes were wrinkled and stained. His eyes were red and puffed from crying. Wen Qing soon walks in, head low. She was hoping she didn't have to bear the news to them. Not like this. Her eyes met the others' gloomy gaze. She could see the worry and hurt and despair in them.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying's eyes had finally opened, his voice sounding weak.

"Wei Ying...are you alright?" He grazed his cheek. Wei Ying opened his mouth like a fish out of water but didn't say anything to respond to his question. Wen Qing stood idly by, waiting for the right moment to speak.

Wei Wuxian's eyes grew wide, frantic, he grabbed his abdomen. It was flatter now. "Where's the baby?!" he said, facing Lan Zhan. He searched in his eyes for an answer, anything to calm his nerves. Wen Qing figured this would be the moment to come clean. She stepped forward, closer to the couple now, Wen Ning now behind. She knelt to their levels. Tears brimmed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry..."

Wen Ning stood behind, holding something bundled in his arms. Something small. Wei Ying was horrified. He knew what it was. Everything in that moment felt it was collapsing. He didn't want to think it was true. Tell him it wasn't true...

"Wh-what do you mean, Wen Qing...There's n-nothing wrong, right?" He already knew the answer to these questions but he didn't want it to be true. He couldn't accept that. Lan Zhan was now hugging the other as he began to shake under his arms. His uncontrollable shaking was met with rage and hurt and shock. He was overwhelmed. And all he could do was cry. 

Wen Ning walked to them, knelt next to his sister, and leaned forward. Lan Zhan turned to Wen Ning. "I wasn't sure, but-", he carefully held out the bundle he held. Their child... Lan Wangji let his arms drop from around Wei Ying to reach out to the baby. Wei Ying noticed the baby. He sadly smiled to himself, though it was visible to the others.

"I want to hold them." Wi Ying said. His voice was adamant. He just wanted to see his baby once. Just once. Lan Zhan's hands shook as he took his child in his arms.

"He's a beautiful baby..." Wen Qing whispered as not to disturb the moment. He...we had a boy...Wei Ying thought. Lan Zhan's eyes began to tear as he looked at his son. His own son. Dead in his arms...and he knew he couldn't save him. He passed along their son to Wei Ying's arms. He watched his lover's eyes as he saw his son for the first time.

Wei Wuxian held his son close to him. The tuft of black hair on his head and his just barely chubby cheeks were adorable for him. He almost wanted to cry from how beautiful he was. But all he could do was cry for him. Because he wasn't going to be able to do anything with him. He couldn't see his first steps, his first words, whether he liked spicy food or not, none of it. Wei Ying's grip grew tight as he balled. The limp baby shook in his arms as he held him up to his chest and kissed his forehead sweetly.

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The loss was severe and everyone's hearts were heavy. The couple wasn't sure what to do now as they continued to mourn their son. Wen Qing and Wen Ning tried their best to offer support and condolences but even Wen Qing knew that these things took time. There's no way to get over something like this in the span of days, months, weeks, and unfortunately years. Tragic but true, and she didn't want that for them, but there's only so much she could do.

Although Wei Ying wasn't supposed to get up, he did anyway, holding his and Lan Zhan's son in his arms. Without much of a spoken word from him, he walked out of the Medicine Room, to the Jingshi.

Lan Wangji didn't try to stop him, how could he? They just lost their child. Their son. Wei Zixin. He was gonna have Wei Ying's surname, and it would mean something, but that's lost. He knew this was hitting his lover hard. All of it was too much, even for him. Imagine how Wei Ying feels. Lan Zhan wanted to hug him, tell him it'd be okay. Comfort him so that he would feel better, but he knew he couldn't replace something like this.

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Wei Ying had reached his bedroom, not so much as a glance to his child's newly decorated room. Everything felt lifeless now, and he wasn't sure if he was drained from losing so much blood or from the heavy feeling of despair and suffering. He placed Wei Zixin's body on the bed and he soon followed suit as he laid next to his son. His forehead gently touched the little one's.

Barely a whisper could be heard from the hoarse-voiced man, "I'm so sorry..."

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

Word Count: 913

Hey guys ✌️

Sorry I haven't updated in forever, school keeps me busy 😖🥲

But also I've been taking a mental health break from things 🍄💔

Please stay safe 💚💚💚