He Left Me - KotLC fic (after Unlocked)

Chapter 8

Hey beans! I have a couple things to say, so this might be a long author's note, but I hate it when people dedicate a whole slide to an update? It means I have to watch more ads so idk. 

First, this fic has already gotten so much love? It might not seem like much but it's a lot to me, so thank you thank you thank you <33

Second, this chapter is very long, like 3k words, but it's the last one from Keefe's perspective for a while, and after this the action picks up. It's a bit messy, because I wrote this today and I'm sick and my brain isn't working, so I'll probably come back and edit it later. 

Lastly, COLLEGE SUCKS. one of my teachers is so irresponsible and confusing??? I'm struggling. So if I don't update as much, that's why. but ilyyyy. 

And lets get to it!

I bolted upright at Sophie's transmission.

Keefe, please, please answer.

Keefe, please.

For a moment, I almost reached out, almost replied to her. But at the last second, I caught myself. I couldn't risk Sophie getting hurt by me. It would kill me if I hurt her, and I had no way of controlling my new powers.

We had your planting today. I chose to do it in the evening. Sunset. I thought you would like the colors of the sky. I planted it next to mine.

I flinched at the thought. I had a grave. Next to the girl I loved.

Just as I was starting to wonder what the Wanderling looked like, Sophie's next transmission came in, an image of a tall tree with light blue leaves and a pale, slightly crooked trunk. The branches were speckled with navy berries. It was weird to look at a tree that reminded me so strongly of myself.

Another image came, of a pale, gold-threaded branch with green leaves and dark brown seeds entwined with a branch from my tree. The seeds were the exact same shade as Sophie's gold-flecked eyes, the bark the same shade as the hair she always hid behind.

Even a tree knew how much I loved her, but she still couldn't figure it out. I almost smiled.

Sophie sent a picture of my dad. My jaw dropped, and I quickly snapped it shut, hoping none of the people near noticed. His hair, normally perfectly smoothed back, was disheveled, making us look even more alike than normal. His dark green tunic was rumpled and wrinkled, and there was a smudge of dirt or something on his cheek. His eyes were puffier than normal, tinted pink.

Sophie told me that my dad cared more than I thought and that's why he was always so harsh, and I never believed her. But maybe she was more observant than I gave her credit for.

This is the last time. I can't keep hoping. I have to let you go.

Tears filled my eyes, and I leaned forward onto the railing of the bridge, looking down at the fish pond underneath me. I squeezed my eyes shut.

I miss you. So much. But this is it. You're gone, and you're probably....

Once again, I almost reached out. I almost told her that I wasn't dead, I wasn't gone, and I still loved and missed her so much. But it was better this way, wasn't it? It was better if she gave up. It would keep her safe.

I won't transmit anymore. This is it.

I crumpled, sliding down the railing, and I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. Tears poured down my face, and I struggled to breathe.

I love you, Keefe. I won't forget you.

The remnants of my heart shattered. "I love you, Sophie," I whispered. I had waited so long for those words. I had watched her with Fitz and let Alden tell me to back off and listened to Ro tease me relentlessly, but I had always tried to hide how much I loved her. And now she finally said those words, and I wasn't there. I couldn't say it back. I couldn't tell her.