He Left Me - KotLC fic (after Unlocked)

Chapter 12

When I got home, Grady was waiting in the yard. His brow creased with worry when he spotted the bandages around my arm and hand.

"Sophie, we need to talk." My adopted dad walked with me into the house, stopping in the front entry.

I paused, waiting numbly for him to continue. I fingered the edge of the bandage around my broken hand, the thick wrap of gauze separating my fingers. It was already itchy. 

Grady sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Sophie, you're becoming reckless. You can't just... give up and not care. You have to care about yourself."

His eyes were begging me to agree, to promise to be better.

But I couldn't.

"I cared about him." My voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

Grady's face crumpled, but he tried to keep it up. A façade of worry, hiding the fear underneath. "I know. But he wouldn't want you to get yourself hurt like this."

I turned away, facing the windows. It was feeding time, and Verdi was ignoring the new produce the gnomes had brought. The sun was beginning to set behind the distant mountains.

"Sophie, please. He wouldn't want this."

"I don't care." My voice was hard, emotionless. "I don't care what he would have wanted, because if he wanted it then he shouldn't have left. He's dead, and what he wanted doesn't matter anymore."

Grady froze, and I could almost feel the growing panic, thick and heavy in the air like molasses. I strode towards the stairs with Elwin's bag over my shoulder. As soon as I stepped onto the stairs, I heard Grady rush to the kitchen to find Edaline. I tried to muster some guilt for making him worry, some care for getting hurt, but there was nothing. Only the numb satisfaction that the precious little lab rat was losing her mind.

And satisfaction that I had scared Gisela.

I let Sandor, Ro, Bo, and Flori sweep my room before entering, and then purposefully strode towards the bathroom. I showered quickly, scrubbing the blood off my cheek and out of my mouth. When I was done, I wrapped myself in a towel, stepping out into my room to head for the closet.

Thankfully, my room was still empty, and I dressed in a plain black tunic and leggings. I gulped down Elwin's medicines and brushed out my wet hair.

It wasn't that late, but I crawled into bed, wrapping myself in Keefe's cape. It barely smelled like him anymore; I would have to go back to candleshade to get a different one. I hugged Ella close and then reached to grab the notebook on my bedside table.

The day after the planting, I had gone to the Shores of Solace, hoping to find... something. Anything. Thankfully, Lord Cassius hadn't been home. I had searched Keefe's room, Ro helping me remove any traps.

One sketchbook had been tucked into the fake bottom of the dresser drawer. It was green, a book I hadn't seen him use before. And it was full of me. Hundreds of moments with me and Keefe, sometimes annotated or including speech bubbles.

I flipped to my favorite part. The first day in detention, listening to siren song.

"What are you in for?" Keefe had said.

"None of your business."

The book must have been a sort of journal for Keefe, because the note on the side read, I met this girl a few days ago, and already she makes me so happy. I wonder what class she's taking in the level five hallway.

Now, I stared at the familiar text, running my fingers over the familiar lines of the sketch. I almost let myself feel, almost let the sadness and hurt and anger fill me, but I held it at bay, snapping the notebook shut and sliding it away from me.

I would end this war. No matter what happened to me. I wasn't going to let any more people die.

I curled up, listening to the sounds of my bodyguards talking outside my door. Sandor was assigning Ro patrol duty, and she agreed, making her way downstairs. I missed Sandor's next words, but I heard Flori's soft reply.

Soon, they were quiet, and I watched the starlight on the ocean outside my window. Tiny flickering fireflies fluttered through the grass of the pastures. It was peaceful, and I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. A dull ache grew in my arm, and my skin was growing more itchy under the bandages. Knowing Elwin would be upset if I messed with them, I resisted the urge to scratch. After several uncomfortable hours, I drifted into a restless sleep.