The Synapse Between Us ✨ [MED SERIES # 6] COMPLETED

Chapter 42

GERARD'S POV

Watching her watching me lose hope was cruel and hell. I wanted to fight, but it gets  harder every day. The face she made when I can't stand. The guilt I saw in her eyes everytime she stared at me, it's haunting me even in sleep.

The days she chose to stay with me instead of going to her duties. The events she missed just so she can go to therapy with me. She's slowly losing her dreams because of me.

"What are you thinking?" Dom asked. Kahit sawa na ako sa mukha nya wala akong magawa. My nurses naman, pero hindi ako gaanong komportable. Pinipilit ko syang mag-stay para hindi umalis sa duty si Louisse.

"How can we make her stay in her duties? Chloe said Louisse missed most of her ORs by just going here. " I answered

He glared at me. "Gago, syempre nag-aalala yung tao."

"Alam ko. Pero mas marami pa yung pinasok nya dito kaysa sa duty nya." Mahinang sagot.

"What are you proposing?" He asked annoyed.

"Tell her, I'll do euthanasia." I murmured.

He stood up quickly. "Gago ka ba? Patayin mo na lang yung tao. Sya lang hindi sumuko sayo tapos susukuan mo sya!"

"Can you just listen first? You think I'll kill myself? Gago, doctor din ako. Let's just say that, so she can agree to my request." I uttered.

"What request?!" He said angrily.

"Mom, already found a rehab center with cases similiar to mine. Louisse will never let me go unless I'll bring her. But, her life is here. She's in residency." I answered

"So you'll trick her that you'll undergo euthanasia? So when she says no, you'll tell her you'll go therapy instead!?" He asked shouthing.

"Yeah. That's the only way I can heal without jeopardizing her dreams. She's choosing me over her dream, and I can't watch her choose that over me." I explained.

"You're crazy. Why can't you just do it here?!" He asked madly. Iba din kasi talaga yung loyalty nya kay Louisse kahit ako yung pinsan nya, and I don't mind that.

"You heard all the doctors here. My only hope is there. And she doesn't deseve me in this state. I'm making her suffer, more. So please help me. Help me convince her." I begged.

He deeply sighed. "Just promise me she won't be too hurt. I lost her once, not again because of you. She's my sister and best friend in one."

"I know. Just help me convince her. I want to be better for her. She deserves the world, and I'm not even half of that." I added.

"How long? Aren't you afraid? Baka pagbalik mo si Lance na." Makahulugang sabi nya.

"No. I trust us. May tiwala ako sa relasyon namin." Siguradong sabi ko.

Later that day, Louisse confronted me about my plan. It pained me hearing her desperate pleas and long cries. I had to act, so she'll think I wanted to end my life. It was hard. Telling someone you love that she can find someone better or even the best when you only want her for yourself. I can't imagine watching her fall in love with someone else. It will break me and kill me. But, I had to. Ayokong sukuan nya yung mga pangarap nya.

The past few weeks I'm begging her to let me go. But, she's too firmed. I can't blame her, because we are each other's life. Sinanay namin yung sarili namin na mundo namin ang isa't-isa.