Meant to be (a wilbur soot fan fic)

chapter 19- regret

  It was getting late.

  2:04 a.m.

  I was slowly drifting off to sleep as I layed on my couch.

  My eyes scanned the living room and the kitchen for a while.

  It was pretty dark, as the only lighting came from the street light outside of the house.

  The rays of the light found their way through the blinds of my window.

  My eyes stopped looking around as they stopped on one item.

  The flower pot.

  Suddenly, my phone started ringing, so I got up and picked it up.

  Wilbur's mom was written on the screen.

  I quickly answered, curious to find out why she was calling at such a late time.

  "Hello?" I asked as I slowly walked towards the flower pot.

  I looked at it, the asters planted in it slowly dying as I had been neglecting them a lot.

  "Y/n?" his mom's voice echoed in the phone alongside huffing noises.

  "Can you hear me? Is everything alright?" I asked, alarmed.

  "Y/n! I'm really sorry for the time" she whimpered, her breath heavy.

  "It's okay! Is everything alright?" .

  "They called me from the hospital" she started explaining, stuttering across her words.

  "He had a really bad seizure, he is in a really bad place" his mom cried.

  I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

  I thought he was doing fine.

  Why did this go so wrong all of a sudden?

  I could hear her crying on the other line, desperately trying to breathe.

  "Are you at the hospital right now?" I asked.

  "Yes, I saw him being taken into the surgery room. He was having trouble speaking and seemed so confused" she kept crying.

  I assured her I would be there as soon as I could, and so I started running.

  I ran to the closest bus stop as fast as I could, just to see that the next bus would be going by in twenty minutes.

  That was not quick enough for me, so I took the initiative and ran to the hospital.

  The noise that the passing cars made was loud and almost defeaning.

  My body was in a state of shock.

  Everything seemed so loud and unreal, making me feel extremely overwhelmed.

  5 more minutes of running and I would be there.

  The bystanders seemed to believe I was crazy as I ran frantically in my pajamas.

  I could see the hospital in a distance, so I ran even faster.

  A few steps before entering, my knees felt weak, and I fell to the ground.

  I could see Wilbur's parents at the front office.

  I waved my hands in the air, hoping they would notice me and help me get up as my body felt too numb to do so on it's own.

  Luckily, his dad noticed me and ran outside to help me.

  "Y/n are you okay?" he asked, trying to hide the fact that he was freaking out.

  I explained to him that I was okay, and that I fell down because my legs got tired of running.

  He led me to the front office, where Wilbur's mom was sat on a chair, crying into her hands.

  I walked to her quickly and gave her a big hug.

  She fell into my arms, desperate for comfort.

  "What room is he in?" I asked.

  They explained to me that he was getting surgery as we spoke, in a room on the third floor.

  I remember Beth's room being next to an operating room, so I sprinted to the stairs.

  There was no time to waste on waiting for the elevator.

  As I ran through the hallways, the corner of my eye noticed her room door slightly open.

  I knocked on it.

  A doctor opened it slightly more.

  "Are you y/n?" he asked.

  I nodded yes, confused as to how he knew my name.

  "As the only person who was close to Beth, I'm really sorry to inform you that she passed" he explained, letting out a sigh at the end of his announcement.

  What? No way, she can't be dead.

  "Can I see her?" I mumbled, burning in my eyes and chest heavy.

  The doctor let me into her room and closed the door behind us.

  There she was, laying in the bed with her eyes closed.

  She seemed so peaceful, like she was asleep.

  I slowly walked towards her, my heart pounding outside of my chest.

  I held her hand and was instantly startled by how cold it was.

  As much as I wanted to seem strong, I couldn't keep it together anymore.

  "I'm so sorry" I cried, my forehead gently resting on the back of her hand.
 
  I heard the door behind me close shut, as the doctor left me in the room alone.

  "I know how much you were rooting for me and Wilbur" I started saying, although I knew it was pointless.

  "I feel like I let you down" I continued, wishing she was alive so I could apologize.

  Nearly four months of knowing her, and countless of tea dates at her house later, there she lied; dead.

  She always advised me to be honest with Wilbur and was rooting for us.

  She knew, she always knew how I felt about him.

  Guilt filled up my body as thoughts of dissapointing her ran through my mind.

  "I didn't even get to thank you" I whispered, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

  As the room stood dead silent, a sudden sound startled me.

  I looked up, my eyes slightly burning from the light.

  The window next to her opened, making a creaking sound.

  A gentle and freezing breeze filled the room.

  Although it was crazy, I genuienly believed it was a sign from her.

  Maybe I was desperate for her to give me something, an indication that she was indeed there, listening to me.

  I said my final goodbyes, hoping that her spirit was there, greeting me back.

  I walked outside the room, my back sliding down the wall until I was sitting down.

  I placed my palms on the marble floor, desperate to feel something.

  But the only thing I felt, was

  regret.