Meant to be (a wilbur soot fan fic)

chapter 22- notes

  Three weeks ago, Wilbur was rushed into this exact hospital.

  Finding hope in the tiniest places was the only thing keeping both of us going.

  But all of that hope, was now long gone.

  Exactly two hours after the doctors rushed into his room, Wilbur was pronounced dead.

  Everything in my body stopped for a split second.

  I was completely numb; both mentally and physically.

  I could no longer feel the cold floor that my knees were touching.

  Tears would roll down my face without me even noticing.

  My mind was flooded with darkness.

  He was gone.

  He was really gone, forever.

  The only thing I felt, was physical pain.

  A sharp knife stabbed into my chest.

  It's cold blade causing me pain.

  The boys were all silent.

  Most of them hiding their pain really well, while others didn't even try.

  "I'm sorry" Tommy whispered as he sat next to me, a cold, lifeless look on his eyes.

  "About what?" I asked, my voice hurting from all the crying I had done earlier.

"I promised we would take care of him" Tommy explained.

I then remembered the exact moment he had said that.

He was so happy and certain they would be okay.

I never should have left.

I should have stayed there with them, and spent more time with Wilbur.

Extreme amounts of guilt filled up my mind.

How could I have been so selfish?

Going home yesterday to sleep wasn't important enough to leave.

"It's okay Tommy... It's not your fault anyways" I sighed as I realized that Tommy was expecting an answer from me.

He didn't deserve to feel the need of apologizing.

Poor Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo were all so young to have to go through this.

17 was too young to have to deal with loss.

Especially his loss.

Wilbur wasn't just some random person.

He was a great friend, an amazing supporter and overall, the best soulmate I could have ever asked for.

Although I was in so much pain, I wouldn't exchange him for the world.

Once I felt a bit calmer, I decided to take a walk around London to distract myself.

I made a decision, that was more painful than what I had imagined.

I went to the bookstore.

The place I saw him for the first time.

I walked in the isle with the books I had met him.

I traced the spines of the books with my fingers just like I had done when I met him.

I found the exact book I had bought.

There was only one of it left.

I took it out, and immediately gasped.