endlessly; lorenzo berkshire

𝙁𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙂

{tw: mention of ed}

If you're struggling with these issues yourself, know that you're not alone and reach out to an adult or friend you trust <3

smut warning

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

I watch as she peacefully sleeps next to me. I just wanted to stay here forever. Her and I in my bed without a worry in the world. 

She made me act different. 

Different than I have to any other girl but I guess she has always been that way to me. 

I couldn't even be her friend for just a day without screwing it up.

I wanted her so bad. I needed her so badly to be mine.

I want to show her off to everyone, treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I'll spoil her and as we grow together, we'll live a big life because that's possible for me if I'm with her. She'll make me a better person and who knows? I might even truly find out what love feels like.

Of course I love Eloise but how am I supposed to know what that feels like or if I'm even in love with her?

It's too early to even think into that yet.

But I've never really known was love feels like.

My birth parents didn't love each other, Lucius doesn't love Narcissa. I haven't exactly been surrounded by it.

Obviously I love Narcissa, Draco and all our friends but that's kind of just natural. I know Eloise is more though, she's different.

I'll just rely on time; times changes everything.

"You know it's rude to stare," She whispered as her soft eyes fluttered open.

"I'm admiring," I tuck a piece of hair behind her hair, while she adjusts to the sudden light in the room.

"I don't want to go back to being friends. Even if I had my doubts about myself at first and what I thought I couldn't give you, I know I can," I whispered.

"I don't need you to give me anything," She spoke quietly.

"Like well- love. I don't really know how to but I'll learn it with you. You're perfect, why would I ever let you go again?"

She looks away in thought, "I'm really not perfect Lorenzo. I don't want you to think that if we were together".

"What do you mean?" I asked, grabbing her hand.

"Do you remember in summer before 5th year how I didn't write and everyone was upset about it?" Eloise questioned.

I nod in reply, slowly brushing my thumb over her hand as she builds up the courage to tell me.

"I was actually in the hospital for the most of summer. I was in recovery for Anorexia. It had started around the triwizard cup but it was easy to mask. By the time I was home and had time to be left alone, it only got worse. My mother struggled with the same issues at my age so she noticed very quickly. I was taken to St Mungo's and basically spent the entirety of the break there," She sniffles and her voice almost breaks. "That's a large part of why I am so close to my parents, they worry about me often. So I am most definitely not perfect".

"Oise, I'm so sorry. I had no idea," I apologised.

I feel like such a dick.

"It's okay I mean, how could you have? Not many people know except for Onny. She noticed a lot of my behaviours but I just denied having a problem for a long time".