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Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was always just red.
A long time ago she learned not to explain things to people. It misleads them into thinking they're entitled to know everything she did.
Like how a dancer dies two times in a lifetime, she too had died numerous deaths one lifetime. Countless times she tore down herself only to mold those fragments into the way she wished her soul to be. A broken crayon could still color however a broken record player could not be used. Things can only be salvaged and saved until a certain stage and after that all that would remain were the memories of them once.
Like the dew of the grass on a foggy morning morning, she felt refreshed and alive. How amazing it is to feel alive rather than only knowing that you are alive. She craves that moment of being humane.
At this moment she was more humane that she had ever felt. Surrounded by the people who accepted the evil in her and still thought of her as someone worth saving.
Feeling the need of being saved was never something that she saw as positive. After all who could save a wretched and broken soul as her own- that had gone through hell and heaven, tore through the limits of human boundaries and accepted that she never be one with light that the people around her were in. She lay in the darkness, where nothing made sense.
A smile came over her gloss tinted lips as she watched the group banter and joke around. Perhaps one of the best decisions she had made was the one of introducing her Rin to the Music Club.
Her green eyes, which now shone like emeralds, glittered with happiness. She giggled softly watching them laugh and tease each other.
From beside her, his blue eyes watched her in adoration. Once upon a time, she told her that blue eyes were like the colour of the skies when galaxies and earth met. Quite a strange thing to say yet it soothed him knowing that his blue eyes reminded her of the stars that she so desperately loved.
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. A breathe left his lips as his thoughts sang an epiphany that he tried to understand.
Tear me apart as you wish, step on the fragments of me, but, oh dearest love, give me not hope that love is possible. For I can't be with you from dusk till dawn. For him, his first love was no more than a heartbreak. He loved her but she, she didn't love him, atleast not in the way he wished she would.
I wish I could give you my love but I fear how it may weigh upon your aching soul. Oh prettiest of flowers, my favourite poison.
Perhaps he had been a villain, or perhaps his heart was never meant to immerse with her own. How tragic and beautiful is one's first love. It leaves them aching in pain yet the ache is something they would tolerate over and again for it was proof of a failed love.
If only he could forget her then perhaps this ache wouldn't be so painful. How could he give up on her? How could the fates be so cruel to crush his heart as such?
"Toya."
He snapped out of his daze and looked at her stretched out hand infront of him. Behind her, he could see the others had started to walk forward. Her green eyes glimmered with a hint of dark hues around the irises.
"Y/N." He breathed out, feeling his lungs need air. He could never get tired of her. Her eyes. Her smiles. Her everything. How could he accept to forget his first love? He couldn't.
"Let's go Toya."
Just one word and I'll let the world burn for you.
"Let's go Y/N."
He grabbed her hand and pulled himself up. Perhaps he was a villain. A villain who would rather die than forget his first love. He couldn't. Not when she saved him. Toya knew that giving up was the better option but in love even the most cleverest of humans acted like fools.
I won't come between you two, but let me stay by your side. Even if my love can't be known, atleast our bond as friends will remain.
Serizawa Toya had loved Dazai Y/N since the day he met her. And he shall continue to do so until eternity and beyond.
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A/N: Natalia here. This chapter was so painful to write... I'll be burying myself in a hole to recover from this chapter. Toya is my most favourite OC and he is really special to me. So to write this chapter was like a stab to the heart. Unrequited love hurts a lot. While Ichino accepted his first heartbreak, Toya refuses to accept it. He refuses to let go of his first love.
