Taming The Beautiful One (TTBO #1)

Chapter 20

Another one, yieeee. Dedicated to the first person who left a comment on Chapter 19. Stay with me until the end, luvie ha? char haha muah :* @iamKatakuna

BELLA

I clenched my fist hard as I made my way out of the mall.

Akala ko okay na ako. Akala ko tapos na ang laban ko pero hindi pa pala.

Napapikit na lamang ako ng maalala ang nangyari kanina. When he was staring into me, it feels like he was staring into my soul, pero natakot ako.

Natakot ako because he didn't seem lost.

At anong pinili kong gawin?

I ran away. I ran away and escaped just like a gutless person would do, pero sumunod pa rin siya sa akin.

"May mali na naman ba akong nagawa? May nasabi ba akong hindi mo nagustuhan? You can tell me," he said calmly.

Alam kong pinapakalma niya lang ako, but I was so fed up. Not because of him, but because of myself. If I can just... overcome this anxiety that's eating me up, wala sanang problema ngayon.

"It just frustrates me that everytime I see you guys, I remember my brothers and my father!" I snapped. Ramdam ko na ang panginginit ng pisngi ko at parang konti na lang ay iiyak na ako.

Lahat sila..

Lahat sila na nagiging malapit na sa akin..

I always have this mindset na iiwan lang nila ako sa bandang huli. That's why I built walls and shields.

"I am not normal, Elionir. I... I was always like this. Kapag may nakikita akong lalaki, nakikita ko sila kuya at si papa. That's why I can't trust any of you, dahil naalala ko kung paano nila ako iniwan!" singhal ko pero he didn't even flinched. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin and I can't figure out what's going on his mind right now.

It's not just them, pati na rin ang mga Santos. Isa rin sila sa mga rason kung bakit ako ganito.

"Then what about that soccer player? Is he an exception? Why do I always feel like you lower your guard when you're with him?"

"What?!" hindi makapaniwala kong tanong. He bit his lower lip then he sighed.

Ba't nadamay pa si Sebastian dito?

Umiwas siya ng tingin, "Nevermind."

I was about to leave pero mabilis niya akong napigilan. Nakatalikod pa rin ako sa kanya at wala akong balak na lumingon. Nakahawak lang siya sa aking palapulsuhan pero hindi niya ako pinilit na humarap sa kanya.

I heard him let out an exasperated sigh. "Ano 'to, deja vu?" he muttured, "Are you going to leave just like before?"

Napayuko ako sa sinabi niya. Right, this has happened before. We had a confrontation. I pushed him away, then I left him and ran away like a scared kid.

"If you run away just like what you did before, you will never overcome that fear. You will stay exactly the same as you were," he added.

After that, we both fell silent. When it started to drizzle, it was like nothing as we just stood quietly and didn't even move an inch. His hand is still holding mine habang ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan ay bumagsak na.

This is what I hate about myself, ang babaw lang ng luha ko. Wala akong ibang maisip na sasabihin, wala rin akong gustong gawin. Ang alam ko lang, ayokong makita niya na umiiyak ako ngayon.

"If what other people say is true that all it takes for something to change can be a single moment, I will create many moments with you, Bella, until that day comes when you can longer see in me the people who have scarred you,"